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nicole

I am here for Friends

About Me

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Fairy fallen roses

Hmm... Me...What to say...what to type... I am not that usual but not that unusual. I have a kid who is 5. He is probably the only reason that I am alive. He's everything to me. I fuck up everyday and I dont do much to change that. That is the sad truth. I do love my son no matter what anyone thinks. And yes I am the master of bad decisions. I have become bitter and old like the beer we found on nassau. (if you know what im talking about your an old friend) i dont have many friends but the ones i do have i would die for. i stay confused and lost but i refuse to buy a map. I let everyone down at one point but they still hold out hope for me. I guess what im trying to say is im your typical outcast kid who never grew up...go figure. Ive had a lot of things happen this last year and i have seen myself hit the bottom a time or two. but hopefully i will overcome everything bad and see the rainbow. but its still raining so who knows. All I do know is that I can't give up, and not because of me not at all because if that were the case I would have given up a long time ago. No, i hold on for my son, because he is my strength. And yeah he isnt with me right now but he will be and when he is he will understand and know its not because of my lack of love for him that he wasn't with me because i have more love for him that even i thought was possible to feel. And now when I thought that love was just a pretty myth on tv and in books i find myself so in love with a person. and everyday i am so amazed at how strong our love has become. He has pushed me to get my life together. he has made me a better person than i ever thought i could be. everyday i fall more in love and i hope he feels the same way. and no matter what everyone says we are doing good and we will not let bullshit or people pull us apart because we know where our relationship stands and what is in our hearts.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


Myspace Comments I would have loved to have met Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin. Now, if I could meet someone who is still alive I would probably want to meet Amy Lee, Nicholas Cage, and Seth Green. Oh yeah, and I would love to meet the band System of a Down, Lamb of God, Hatebreed, um, yeah everyone ive ever seen in concert

My Blog

me...in love

welll, well, well....as soon as i think i have things figured out God sends me a curveball. lol i am so happy right now in my life. can you believe that? me the gloomy girl that never picks her head u...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:31:00 GMT

the tears wont stop and im drowning

i thought of you today like i do every day.... i cried for you today just like i always do... i look at your pictures...so i can feel close to you. i miss you so much... i dont know what to ...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:03:00 GMT

dont think i dont remember or miss

to my friends the few of you that there are i hope you dont think just because i dont call or text or email everyday that i dont remember the fun times we had or that i dont miss you. i just get so ca...
Posted by on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:30:00 GMT

no one better to judge me

i know i fuck up and i know that i alone have the power to change it all. what i dont know is where to start and when i do find the place to start will i have the ambition to go through with it or wil...
Posted by on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:16:00 GMT

always at the bottom

well, ok ive been gone a minute from this and i for once am almost at a loss for words. i only know that it seems the harder i try the more i get pushed back and somedays it seems almost too easy to g...
Posted by on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:00:00 GMT

a day to have in my hands

i take this life in and try to figure out everything. the days seem to slip like sand and i wonder if i am doing anything right. i still cry and i dont think that will ever go away. i went to go pay r...
Posted by on Fri, 23 May 2008 13:26:00 GMT

ha just when i think its over

i am back! bonded out and free and about to go to work. isnt that funny? and just when i thought it was over. yeah. today is a strange day. i miss you pelon its been a month today since you have been ...
Posted by on Tue, 06 May 2008 10:29:00 GMT

a letter to my son

i hope that someday you will understand everything that has happend in your short life. i hope that when you get older you will not hate me for the person i was. i am trying to make things better. and...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:08:00 GMT

facing what is to be

 so here i go...i am going to face the music. the part of my life that i have ran away from as long as possible. im sorry for letting everyone down. my life isnt easy and i hope th...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:02:00 GMT

its been 10 days

i have felt the loneliness i have felt the sadness i dont want to feel this anymore but i dont think it will get better i will just learn how to deal. i got told today i look like ive become mean. i d...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:28:00 GMT