blade runner

my name is chris, im laid back and enjoy the simple things in life like hard hitting punk rock, 40 oz's, communism, chemical induced alertness, and going to the beach. there once was a man who wrote a book and that is a book of my beliefs, and no its not the bible. i travel frequently to lands where it is 120' daily and very sandy. if i was a pokemon you would want to save your master ball for me because im a really rare pokemon and you will never complete your pokedex without me. i try to live my life the way that i think that captain planet would live, i like to recycle, run or ride bikes, car pool places, have blue skin and a green mullet, and wear a red leotard thing when i fly from place to place (being very economical on fuel mind you). some people say that people like me belong in an instituion or behind bars but they will stop that nonsense when you computers and microwaves and other house hold appliances get to be too advanced and begin to take over the world. other people believe that my infatuation with preparing for the breakout of a virus which causes dead cells to reanimate (zombies) but they too will yell for my help and i will whisper back "no". as a young child i was taught to swim and tie my shoes the hard way, i was thrown in a lake and locked in the basement until i came up with both shoes tied...and im not kidding about that one bit. according to the stereotype i am what the hep world calls a "rude boy" which is someone who listens to ska music and dresses odly wearing a large ammount of black and white checkered items. the first thing i do in the morning after getting dressed and showering (not in that order) is to take about 400mg of caffiene because without which i cant stay awake. i once had a beer bottle thrown at my face from 3 stories up and ever since them i have been kind of afraid of walking near buildings with are taller than me which is most buildings so having a normal life can be difficult because im not that tall...yet. sometimes, in the right weather and in accordence with the great magnet i will ramble on for hours about how i once was trapped in the second realm with the hob goblins chasing after me until i came upon the lion of truth who saved me from being ravaged by the goblins lead by the locust with a stomach full of chandeliers. the best thing about me is that im clinically insane but not medically, i have all the symptoms but upon receiving results from numerous CAT scans it has been proven that my nuerological function is just as normal as dr. phil, wait no, bad example, how about bruce willis. the best thing about all of this is that by the time you have read to this point you have realized that im not a very serious person and that i rather enjoy humor, but if you've read to this point you know to much and now must pay..

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