more than anything else in my life right now, I AM ROUNDUS
you know me. will spend the rest of my days and nights knowing
that I will always be ignorant. i thank the universe every day for the blessing that is my family, they are the 4 most important creatures in my entire sphere... my two sisters ({27&18} both sooo next level...) and i have the distinct filial pleasure of an american nurse and a lebanese/british surgeon who met over the operating table, and have now been healing people together for 30 years as their intertwined mutual calling. both completely straightedge, vegetarian, organic/soy lifestyln, ocd, highly educated, and deeply spiritual... and have nothing but the strictest, highest, and purest expectations of their three young incarnations, really just one maxim: fix some of the sadness, suffering, and evils in the world before you die. in my short life i have interacted with a considerable global sample of creatures and I can still say with no reservation nor hyperbole that they are the two most noble energies i have ever encountered. they have relentlessly stood by my side to celebrate and ground my successes and guide me through the valleys of my failures. i have only just begun to identify the depth of their meticulous programming from the womb to yesterday... they are as much a part of me as i am...
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i am perpetually humbled by the clockwork permanence of the tide. the solf, silky, subtle mathematics of smoke. quantum electro dynamics of light and energy in general... of flames dancing, brooks babbling, birds flocking, humans sorted through turn-styles, schools of fish, Barakaesque time lapse moments of clarity, water lines through canyons. great balls of gas speckling the vast emptiness that surrounds. orders of magnitude. fractal event binomial trees. international interconnectivity & elevated interdependence, mutual strength and fragility... light and sound waves ripping through the air and through the walls around us. global telecommunications relay satellite networks. office cubicles filled with automaton mole people crunching excel macros and forwarding horrible flash cartoons to every email address they have ever collected. waves slapping against the bow. coxswains screaming like the reaper was perched on the bow, cadance maintained. oarlocks snapping out the power twenty in perfect unison. odd but much better to have your backs to the finish line, every stroke could get you there...push harder, we really don't care if you puke, just get it done... coral reefs engaged in millenium long battles with each other, slow and definitive. The cumulative human t and z scores along the vast normal curve that is BBCs Life of Mammals...
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i dream about toes with fine white sand inbetween them. sun on your skin. fresh fruit. perfect water, music, potables, and peoples. energies. appreciate the moment. never forget that marginal utility diminishes. it will never be the same again, change is a fact. just hope delta is a "positive" move. sensorial jadedness and not enough time to think about it. the duplicity of carporeality, parasitic bodies hindering the mind's evolution.. trace the natural lines. patterns. inexplicable internal/external visuals and optical neurochemical trickery. value the ability to dream...dmt. sweet abstraction. psychedelic journies in general. lost in nature. play like you're a four yeard old. pleasure. pure, unadulterated, raw, animalistic, nobody's watching kind of pleasure. instincts. new angles, new feelings and insights. fallen deeply in love - twice, hurt more the second time around. public school to phillips exeter to public school to wharton to club med back to wharton to morgan stanley back to Lilliput and on to Qontinuum... big, nagging, frightening questions. with the future bearing down so hard, its hard not to get lost in immediacy of this moment. trying to be a world citizen; the power of translation. the power of empathy and understanding. find out who is pulling the strings. b.o.e. illuminati. bohemian grove. bilderberg. the fed. various dens of iniquity, mystery of included. system constraints. the power of choice. dubai. goa. brazil. brazilians. les belle filles francese e les quebecoises osi. reve. too many projects. sand in
an hour glass. moments. the small quiet ones. growth. hope. we'll
see.
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