MALTHUS; A brief history from an Asshole
-Dick Shrapnel
The band's name is Malthus. It's deliberately stolen from Thomas Robert Malthus, who was a political economist who lived through the late 1700's.
Why the hell would four haggard ass twenty-somethings use a name from 11th grade history to christen their metal band? Pretentious, preachy sons-of-bitches?!
This isn't about trying to tell the world we need to shape up or die, or bad things are coming. The name is a tongue-in-cheek analogy between the demeanor projected in our songs, and Mr. Malthus's ideas and life. Anything and everything flawed, any hypocrisy or anything that iconically represents the fiendish human condition, we're going to write a song about!
It's really our way of saying, "All humanity is lost, but ain't it fun!"
So, why did we steal that nice man's last name? Simple.
Malthus based his life around writing essays that depicted society as a cancerous growth on Earth's face. He even proposed a theory that eventually, through the geometric expansion of human numbers and the inability for food sources to grow the same way, we'd eventually eat ourselves into Armageddon.
Famine, disease, and war, oh my!
His solution. The working class should have restraints put on how often they can reproduce. Malthus' thought was; while more intelligent couples will normally bear 1 or 2 children to a marriage, there's not much limit on how many a marriage between two lower-class, genetically flawed people will bear. Therefore, population would increase, but we'd all be disfigured and stupid.
The end result; we'll all be mole-men.
Ok, I made that last part up, but here's the kicker.
Malthus was one of eight children; and, possibly through inbreeding, he had a hare-lip and a cleft-palate, which was pretty inherent in his family. He proceeded to pass that lovely little gene on to his THREE children.
Interesting, but how does that tie in to four ugly bastards?
The whole point of the band name Malthus is flailing and flopping sloppily around in a big pool of delicious irony. When Mr. Malthus decided to stand up and call the world shit, he did it knowing that he was shit himself!! When we write a song that negatively depicts the world becoming a shittier and shittier place, we do it, knowing that, we too, are shit!!
So, even though Malthus was pretty much dead-on, and we're seeing the effects of that theory nowadays(I won't get started), we're just pointing it out with cynicism and anger, not really doing anything about it. Well, besides never getting laid.
Member Bios:
We all hail from Hampton Roads. The idea of the band started as a couple of kids in high-school mostly just sitting around in an above-garage practice space in Chesapeake, playing instruments, drinking and usually just goofing around. After about 9 years of talent-honing, tons of line-ups,4 or 5 practice locations, lost and re-found interest, and even few name changes too, eventually something was formed that the current four members felt was comfortable in bringing public in 2008. We decided to call it Malthus.
It's been a lot of hard work to this point, so we're taking baby steps to make sure we don't completely fuck up. We're still based out of Chesapeake, where we do all of our own writing and recording. So far, we've gotten a pretty good response from Hampton Roads,made a lot of good friends, and our fan-base is growing a little more with every show we play, which is fucking beautiful to any artist. Though the music scene here isn't the best place for metal, we do what we can. And, what people do come out are always awesome, we love seeing their faces again and again. We wouldn't trade this for anything in the world, this is what we've chosen to do with our lives.
Even if we wind up with our dicks in the dirt because of Metal, there'll be no regrets.
Wanna get to know the members a bit better....too bad!:
Nothing- Lead guitar/ back-up vocals. Pretty quiet dude. Plays nothing but Halo guitars!
Part-time douchebag, full-time alcoholic. Voted "least likely to talk to you" in highschool.
Influenced by anything heavy and/or covered in blood. Has a Death-Metal fever. There's just too many bands to name. If they're Metal, he's heard of 'em, if you like 'em, he doesn't.
Can't stand a lot of pussy ass acoustics or whiny singing. And, six strings just isn't enough.
Biggs- Percussion. Loud-mouthed asshole of epic reknown.
Has roots in old-school punk, all metal, and pretty much loves anything related to any type of music...ever. Prides himself on disgusting fills, and sporadic double bass. Looks like a humongous leprechaun, plays drums like Satan's ugliest child!....if that makes any sense.
Dick Shrapnel- Guitar/ Lead vocals. He doesn't like you.
Influenced by random thoughts, Metal, and really, any type of music or literature. Thinks he's better than you because he reads books sometimes.
Wears a cowboy hat, but nobody knows why. Pretty much a prick.
Snookie- Bass. The newest and youngest member of Malthus.
Loves himself some old-school metal. Metallica, Iron Maiden and Slayer are his main influences. Loves to play a lot of gallops and fast riffs.
Happy-go-lucky demeanor. After a show, he's the most likely to talk to you. The other guys require a little social lubricant first!!
For Booking or if you want to contact us for any other reason, then do so on MySpace or E-Mail at [email protected]
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