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Robert

About Me


TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey


I deleted, amended, and edited this survey to make it a little more interesting **GRINZ**


Name:

Robert Wagner


Birthday:

Aug 16 1982


Birthplace:

Bumble Fuck Northeastern Pennsylvania – Its no small miracle I thrived in spite of all of Them


Your Location:

10 th ave sitting directly above a liquor store


The Underwear You Wore Today:

2xist


Your Weakness:

Kryptonite


Your Fears:

Being attacked by the marauding band of Jumbo Spiders from Costa Rica !!!


Your Perfect Pizza:

Cheese Cheese CHEEESE


Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:

Three more drunken middle-of-the-night-Robert-is-hanging-off-a-water-tower-in-H ells-Kitchen photo shoots. [Up for it mike?]


Favorite school subject?

Molecular Biology


Thoughts First Waking Up:

“I’m never drinking again”


Your Best Physical Feature:

My third toe. DEFINITLY my third toe.


Your Bedtime:


Your Most Missed Memory:

The sound a giant champagne bottle makes when thrown form an SUV at 80 mph on the Jersey Turnpike **Clink** **Clink** ** Clink ** *** SMASH***


Pepsi or Coke:

Depends on the fare


MacDonald’s or Burger King:

*starts a grease fire*


Single or Group Dates:

Single


Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:

Crack Lemonade from Golden Forest on Grand St.


Chocolate or Vanilla:

Strawberry


Have you ever fired a gun?

A 9mm, 38, 4-10 Shotgun, and my favorite -- a .30-06


Cappuccino or Coffee:

Chai


Do you Smoke:

Nope – In the interest of full disclosure… I did work at a law firm that represented big tobacco.


Do you Swear:

I sing


Do you Sing:

I swear


Do you Shower Daily:

8:10-8:55 Monday thru Friday. Weekends are variable.


Have you Been in Love:

I shoot the arrows at cupid


Do you want to go to College:

I have 2 degrees


Favorite Book

The Violent Bear It Away [fiction] & The Moral Animal [non fiction]


What was your favorite childhood toy?

Erector Set


Do you get Motion Sickness:

I cause motion sickness


Do you think you are Attractive:

I don’t like to brag


Favorite candy?

Gummy worms


Do you like Thunderstorms:

Only when they break things


Do you play an Instrument:

With 5 fingers…


In the past month have you Smoked:

I have never smoked tobacco. Not even once in high school.


In the past month have you gone on a Date:

Nope


In the past month have you gone to a Mall:

We don’t have those on my Island . [or at least ones i’d want to visit]


In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:

No, but entire boxes of croutons have met their demise at my hands


In the past month have you eaten Sushi:

Tekka Maki BABY!


Do you like Opera?

I feel asleep during Aida?


Have you gone Skinny Dipping:

In three countries


In the past month have you Stolen Anything:

A Fire Extinguisher, A Satellite Dish, and a Hebrew’s dignity [I’m trouble when drunk – and I gravitate toward roofs]


Ever been Drunk:

*Enters 60 Vodka bottles into Evidence* I collect


Ever been Beaten up:

I used to wrestle… BRING IT.


Have you ever Shoplifted

I had to consult dictionary.com for this one… shop·lift v. --

To steal merchandise from a store that is open for business. In the strictest sense of the word… Nope *Grinz*


How do you want to Die:

Forgetting the safe word


What do you want to be when you Grow Up:

Sore point at the moment


What country would you most like to Visit:

I’ve knocked off my top 3… Brazil and Colombia are next on my Hit List


How would you handle rejection

Machine gunning tourists in Times Square


If you had a kid, what would you name it?

Jamal – For the irony


Number of Countries Visited

8


How many e-mail accounts do you have?

7


Do you like mustard?

Only when mixed with Ketchup


What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who don’t walk on escalators; black people in movie theaters; and babies on buses.


Number of Drugs I have taken:

Send me an email for the answer


Number of CDs I own:

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