eeK!

eeK! is well known for his contributions to music. He began his record breaking career by breaking records. Literally. He was given a tape deck recorder at birth, and to critical and popular acclaim he recorded his first album entirely to the beat of a passing drive by. He soon decided to quit the music business and try his hand at online poker. Sadly to no avail.
In the months that followed, eeK! fled to western Russia where he grew a beard and quickly became recognised as a world-renowned renegade philosopher. Upon his return to London, he was arrested by Southwark Animal Services when complaints had been received that people had seen a feral warthog roaming the streets.
The London authorities ordered for eeK! to spend two years inside a Japanese internment camp. Here, he met Twopack Shaker, a man credited with inventing the bandana. Shaker taught eeK! the complex art of shouting into a microphone, a past-time that had recently become popular amongst the elderly and decrepid.
Imbued with the spirit of an icecube, eeK! made his return to Londontown once again. He signed up for the local gay pride tournament, which at the time was known as the JumpOff, but later changed its name to WeLoveCliffRichard due to copyright infringements. Blasted by the judges (Fat Twang, Gay, Professor Jean and some other wretched hoe that nobody knows the name of), he descended into a period of immense depression that would later prove to have a serious impact upon his sexual health.
eeK! soon met an elderly transexual by the name of Messwithya Bones. They embarked upon a brief romantic liaison that led to the accidental drowning of the ladymale in question. Charged with manslaughter, eeK! was ordered to serve 5 years in Alcatraz.
By this time, eeK! was well into his early teens and the formation of his first pubic hair could be seen. In celebration of the event, the SanFrancisco council committee called for the construction of what was soon to be known as the Golden Gate Bridge. As word spread of the news, a moustachioed Australian by the name of Adolf embarked upon a European liberation tour. His efforts to revolutionise the music industry met with mediocre results at best.
The Chinese government, knowing that it was the only plausible method to seduce Adolf into the midst of their brand new torture chamber, organised for the release of eeK!, who immediately set about recording a diss track for the young man from down under entitled 'Die Hitler Die You Ugly Moustachioed National Socialist Nazi Scum!' Much to the delight of the CCP, Adolf committed suicide the day after the track was aired on MTV2.
With worldwide recognition now at his beckon call, eeK! sought to recruit the unmatched production skills of a man by the name of DJ Robert Van Winkle. Together, they penned many well known hits such as 'Let It Be,' 'Stairway to Heaven' and 'Ice, Ice Baby' amongst others.
Disillusioned with the state of the world due to the hanging of his close associate, Saddam Hussein, eeK! found solace in the World of Warcraft. Disguised as a hunter he scoured the land of Azeroth for that which would materialise the majority of his wildest dreams. He developed an intimate bond with a young Russian boy called Ardnaxela BazzyNovocaine, whom he later slaughtered with the sword of a thousand hearts. Luckily, eeK! revived the fallen hero and the friendship persevered.
Having reached level 80. eeK! left Azeroth and returned to London for the third time to complete the initial work that had begun upon his second album; working title "I Enjoy Masturbating Over Glove Puppets." DJ Premier is rumoured to be involved.
Plain White myspace layout