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I am 5'4, 780 lbs., love to eat, sleep, and scratch myself in various places. I don't shave, don't bathe, I have never owned a tooth brush and I will most likely die from choking, while watching reruns of Gilligan's Island and swallowing little powdered doughnuts whole.Seriously, I like to laugh and make people laughMy General Interests include,but are not limited to: The Arts, The Theatre, (any smarrt person knows REAL theater is spelt theatre... like them Eglish people from Englind) Science, History, Music, Interpretive-Dance, Literature, (Did I mention The Arts?) Animals, the Alphabet, Reading, Riting, 'Rithmatic, Tar, Chewing Gum, finding a cure for curiosity, yogurt, Paint (latex), Cross-Stitch, Cross-Breeding, Inbreeding, Lighting Clowns on Fire, Lighting Midgets on Fire, tipping over large collections of: beads, beans, marbles, etc; Physics, Astronomy, Pirates, Anything "Sea-Worthy" and Mud. And Dirt. And Grass.
This guy:
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If you dig bald, fat, hairy guys with atrocious body-odor and disturbing amounts of gas... we'll get along just fine.Now that I have adressed the majority of you mere mortals, here are a few people of IMPORTANCE I'd like to meet.Jerry Bruckheimmer, Thomas Edison (when he was alive..., cuz meeting him now would be kinda..., messy I'd think) same for Ben Franklin, Kevin Smith, Robert Rodriguez, Stephen Hawking, My Grandpa on my Dad's side(again, when he was alive and playing amatuer baseball/singing opera/conducting trains/gambling as opposed to now when he is dead/rotting/pushing up grass/taking a dirt nap/talking with Jesus) King David, Son of Jesse and the All Time Person I'd Like to Meet of course... God/Jehovah/El Shadai/King of Kings/Ancient of Days
I don't hear anything... except for these STUPID VOICES IN MY HEAD!!Okay.. here's some culture for ya:
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Saving Private Ryan, We were Soldiers, Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Momento, Waiting for Guffman, Anchorman, Jaws, The Usual Suspects, and anything with Jerry Lewis
Heroes, The Unit, NCIS, My name is Earl and The Office Pretty much any stupid humor is my bag..
Books ARE useful for eating and starting fires
Jesus Christ,(because he is one of the most misrepresented figures in history, and he probably knew that was coming, but he still came and did it all anyway) Michael Mertes, my sister, anyone who has the guts to: chase a God given dream, fulfill a duty regardless of personal sacrifice, or simply done the right thing at the right time just because it was ...... right. Oh Yeah! And Will Ferril