Fire

MAN LAWS1. A man shall never ask for help when opening his Miller Lite.2. A man shall never knowingly order a drink in a hollowed out coconut shell.3. Generators disqualify it as camping.4. A man must pledge allegiance to one football team prior to pre-season.5. Body lotion:Yes Body lotion with the essence of rose blossom:No6. Discussions about sports uniforms shall not exceed 35 seconds unless debating the coolness of the throwback uniform.7. Gadgets will be loved by all men, for both their complexity and their novel nature.8. Swim trunks shall not be shorter than 4 inches above the knees.9. The five second food rule applies as long as you blow off the germs prior to eating.10. A minimum of 3 minutes must pass before critisizing a friends bar-b-queing techniques.11. The frozen dinner is an acceptable meal when a man is alone and left to his own devices.12. Regardless of searing pain, a man doesn't alter his stride over hot sand.13. A perfectly beautiful day is a perfectly acceptable reason to be inside watching sports.14. Prior to the draft, all fantasy football discussions shall not exceed 90 seconds.15. Last year's fantasy football standings are declared "irrelevant" as of August 1st.16. We shall not begin the operation of lawnmowers and leaf blowers before 9am. 11am on Sundays. 17. The number of minutes a man spends styling his hair shall be equal to or less than the length, in inches, of his mane. 18. A man does not ask another man to go with him to the outhouse.19. A man should, but is in no way obligated, to wait for another man who is late.20. A man does not leave a bar knowing 'twas his turn to buy the next round.21. If a man spills your beer, he must replace it upon request.22. A man shall not set his beer down in such a location that it causes ownership uncertainty among his fellow drinkers or himself. He must know his beer upon sight with one hundred percent accuracy. 23. An armrest belongs to the first arm to claim it.24. In an elevator, a man shall never face anywhere but toward the door.25. Miller Lite is the standard and accepted form of payment for any dept between men.26. A man may share his beer with another man, but they must drink the beer from seperate vessels. 27. On the subject of wearing hats inside, a man must obey the rules of the house. However upon entering another's house for the first time, he must remove his hat until such rules are identified. 28. While secret handshakes are acceptable, those involving maneuvers blantantly observable by a third party are not. 29. A man shall never leave another man behind, unless said man is behaving in a manner that disrespects the man waiting. 30. Whether a deed is good or bad, if nobody else saw it happen, it never happened. 31. No man should ever make excuses for the haircut he has been left with. 32.Directions are to be determined before the onset of a voyage. Once embarked, a man may not ask directions unless he is to be late for a wedding, birth, or funeral. 33. A man may engage in gardening but he must call it farming..