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the ASS MOLES

About Me

Self-important chef King Gong was burrowing inside of Ass Mountain one day with a spoon, when suddenly he came upon (not ejaculated, but rather discovered) a shaggy, shagged Neanderthal connecting the dots on the posteriors of figures depicted on Ass Mountain wall cave paintings. It was the famous Anthropologist, Art Carcass. "Ass Moles", grunted the shagged one, cryptically. "I have a spoon!" chortled the disoriented Gong chef. With that jovial intellectual exchange, they knew they had much in common.

They decided to form a catering company that would also provide musical entertainment for functions. Functions, as in parties, not bodily functions, you cretinous, gelatinous au gratin of a reader! In this fashion, "C.A.G.E." (Carcass And Gong Entertainment) was born.

Their first gig was in Tijuana, Mexico. Chef Gong, an impoverished man's Gordon Ramsay, was inspired by a local Mexican diet staple, a hunk of poultry covered in a chocolate-chili sauce named "Chicken Mole" (pronounced Mo-lay, something we can all do with). Realizing the potential in the marriage of chocolate and asses, Chef Gong presented his take on the Mexican dish, calling it "ASS MOLE" (pronounced 'Mo-lay', which is something we could all do with), using his own ass as the serving receptacle, and himself as the table centerpiece. Professor Carcass serenaded the nauseous crowd with his own brand of musical magnificance, posturing, postulating, and pustulating. Chef gong, in a fetal position, placed on a bed of wilted, hot spinach, his ass to the heavens, filled with a syrupy slurry of chili-chocolate goodness, enlisted the aid of his hands to hold open his scarred and abused ass cheeks so that all might partake of the hot chocolatey delicacy. Parrots Hilton happened to be in attendance, and was overheard exclaiming; "I ain't giving no rusty trombone to that chocolate-covered Gong bitch!"


Professor Carcass suggested that they discontinue the catering aspect of the business, but continue with the musical collaboration. He suggested they call the musical aggragation of aggravation "the ASS MOLES", after his chosen Anthropology discipline, and after Chef Gong's hobby of Ass Mountain burrowing. In Tijuana, they are known simply as "ASS MOLES" or "LOS ASS MOLES", (pronounced "Mo-Lays", something we could all do with). Created with mySpace Ass Mole Extractor

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 12/06/2007
Band Website: This Is It
Band Members: ART CARCASS - Mouth, Strings
KING GONG - Gongs, Hittinshit Implements
..
Record Label: Round, with a hole in the middle

My Blog

ASS MOLES ON (ASS) FACEBOOK!

Art Carcass and King Gong get set to create new ASS MOLES mayhem (yes, it’s about time). While you wait, why not add yourself as an ASS MOLES fan on (Ass) Facebook?BECOME AN ASSFACEBOOK ASS MOLE...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:49:00 GMT

Sinking Ship Art Contest!

Hey, Everyone! We're having an Art Contest, to see who can render the best rendering of a sinking ship!  We're tying in this awesome promotion to promote our song, co-incidentally entitled; "Sin...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 09:32:00 GMT

Resistance Is Futile...

MOLE UP!
Posted by on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 13:22:00 GMT