To this day, it is still uncertain how Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians came to be. It is rumored that Rex Stiff met Ian Balmer and Roger Mortis at Drake's Funeral Home where they all held part-time jobs.
The first known performance of Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians was in 1952 at Westerburg High School's summer sock hop. The show was a complete failure and forever branded the band as the most vile and disgusting group of that era. This did not stop Rex or his morticians from writing songs dealing with what was considered to be lurid sex acts and extreme violence. The entire band seemed to have an insatiable love for the dead and Rex, throughout many songs, preached BDSM to a non-understanding public.
Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians continued playing shows, but to no avail. The fifties just weren't ready for them. Then, on Halloween 1958, en route to their biggest gig yet, opening for Frankie Avalon, tragedy struck. Someone from the last city they played at cut the brake lines on their tour van. The van careened off a cliff, killing Rex, Ian and Roger instantly.
But don't fret children. Rex, Ian and Roger were not yet ready to say goodbye and their spirits returned to Drakes, waiting for an oppurtune moment to unleash their return. Exactly 45 years later, Halloween 2003, someone managed to resurrect them from the grave.
Enter Frankie Fermaldibryde, a young mortician, who at that time, was working at Drakes Funeral Home. Frankie loved music and was a beast on the guitar, but was unable to devote herself to a musical project she could truly love. In the meantime, Rex had taken note of the attractive sex pot and was unable to resist her. He found himself leaving tokens of his presence everywhere.
On October 31, 2003, Frankie was searching fro some embalming chemicals when she came across an old record. The record was Death, Dance and Decay by none other than Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians. Little did she know that record was to change her life forever.
Later that evening, a storm was brewing as Frankie took out the record and put it in her player. She immediately fell in love with the sounds she heard. It was a band she would have loved to have been a part of. At that exact moment, her house was hit with lightning. A moment later, there was a knock at her door. When Frankie answered it, who was there but Rex, Ian and Roger. That night they began rehearsing.
Nearby a strapping young alien had somehow ran off course. Suddenly, his ears picked up the most disgusting, gruesome noises he had ever heard. Zardonicus followed the sounds until her found himself outside of Frankie's house listening to Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians. Zardonicus was so intrigued with the band, he immediately threatened them to let him play his guitar along with Frankie or else he would send them all into outer space. After first hearing his chops, the band agreed. Thus a new era of Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians was born.
Many will argue that the ideas brought forth in their songs were just way ahead of the times. Now fresh from the grave (and outer space) Rex Stiff and the Kinky Morticians are back and ready to pollute the minds of this generation. So kiddies, strap on your dancing shoes because they're back!!
