About Me
My boys, yeah, 10 times cooler than you'll ever be. Zach told his pre-school teacher to stop talking, she was annoying him. He can't pronounce his "L's" that well, and I think it's the cutest fucking thing in the world. He also calls bananas beeannas. Mason, on the other hand, he's the sweet one. Until you take his food. Then he motherfucks you in baby talk. Don't believe me? Try it.
I don't have to pay babysitters, people want to rent them. They're that kick ass.
My friend's rock harder than yours. Okay, so maybe they don't, but I know they drink more, are funnier, and most are insanly attractive.
You don't grill toasted cheese, you toast it.
I eat ALOT of cheese.
And I shit biweekly.
I love smiling, smiling is my favorite.
I never answer the phone.
I text. Like its my job.
I'm a liquor pharmacist at The Registry in Crown Point.
Come give me your money.
I see a head doctor. She seems to think I've got "issues".
-I'm serious-
I sometimes wish I could live life how some people who "know me" say I do. From what I hear, I'm quite unbelievable. Sorry kids, I'll never live up to the hype. Don't get excited.
I don't come with a warning label, but I should.
I believe that true love exists only in fairy tales.
I'm learning to believe things like that exist.
But I'm a sucker for dark eyes, 5 o'clock shadow, and romance.
I use to have a thing for big guys.
I rely fully on my gut instinct.
And most of the time it's growling.
I love food. Alot.
I have selective hearing, and selective memory.
I'm EXTREMELY sarcastic.
I lie alot. That was a lie.
I pay no attention to my surroundings.
I am a hypocrite. Do as I say, not as I do.
I have a million pet peeves.
Anger management is an issue I refuse to get over.
Some people, mostly employers, seem to think I have an attitude problem. I like to call it gumption.
Even if I make a promise, it's seldom kept.
I'm a pervert.
I love people that live vicariously through MySpace. It's the computer people, not real life.
Oh, by the way, I eat meat, tons, chickens were put on this Earth for chicken nuggets, whoever told you otherwise was lying.
