This is the bit where i get to sound well cool. Joy.
Thats because I am well cool..Just remember - I am super trustworthy.
Now that's settled..Jake Osborne, just like the rest of you, but more. Knower of truths but teller of lies.
Logic machine, real-time extraordinaire, potential masterpiece.
On a good day.Sigh...So, after spending thirteen years trying to learn how to be a Person, i quickly advanced up the ranks to become a Name, a Face and then an Ego.
Since then I've bettered myself, and am now a Failure and a Scumbag.
I'm currently working towards my Real Man badge..What that means is that i know im probably not better than everyone, but im gonna act like i am anyway.Sake Bombs. That is all.Level 4 MOMT - but I don't like to rub it in. It's the walls, see. Helps build up my chakra and that.People who don't like smash brothers are dicks. As are people who do like BTMI - surprisingly though, Rhys isn't. It's MY opinion. It's gotta be right. If you fancy anymore opinions, just ask. i LIKE my opinions.Money is good. Work is bad. I'll get round to coming up with a plan for that. In fact, I just did. Get a job that isn't a bag of crap. Like answering phone calls from crazy folk for a specialist crack mental health squad. Who smoke crack.Meat is NOT murder. Meat is tasty. I don't care what crap some chicken gets a hundred miles away, I'm hungry. Are they me? no. If some ethiopian kid got given a steak, would you go up and tell him all about why he shouldn't eat it? no. point proven?Caffeine is a double-edged sword. I learned that the hard way. Just.. be careful with it, ok?NOD are mighty, watch out for them. They'll sort you out good and proper. At least, they were mighty. Now they show up for five minutes and that stupid monkey island ship just comes back again. If I wanted to see that id play monkey island. for about five minutes.Ant will always be in my debt, but thats okay, it means he will do stuff for me. like change the channel, and hopefully get out of his house a bit fucking quicker.Villages are crappy, i mean, what do they think theyre playing at? They just wanna be towns, but are nowhere near as good so nobody lives there and the whole zone ends up a bag of crap. Thats what you get. Think about it, village hall or nationally renowned venues? yeah, I thought it was a toughie too..Football IS cool, and well good. Don't be fooled though - that isn't to say that everybody who likes, plays, watches or is involved with it isn't an absolute ballbag.
especially strikers. And Welford players.Apart from all that, i'm just another star who's burned out too quickly. right, Gavin?
But seriously, I'm just another lad who's ambition in life is to drink, smoke or laugh at anything in touching distance. Any further away than that is just too much effort.And thats pretty much the long and the short of it.
