'Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life, define yourself.'
-Harvey Fierstein
Being survivors of child abuse and sexual assault we know first hand of the damage it causes to a persons life. Weather you are a victim of child sexual abuse, incest, or rape you deserve to be heard, listened to, believed and supported. We are not counsellors nor an organisation but we have a great passion for helping people dealing with the effects and aftermath of sexual abuse. We created this space as a safe place to get information, support and resources. We're here for anyone who is struggling and going through a hard time, anyone who needs a friend to listen to them or even just a person to tell your story to so, please feel free to email us anytime and we will get back to you quickly and try to help as best I can.
You are not alone
It is against the law for adults to behave in a sexual way towards children. But this happens to many children, both girls and boys. It often involves someone you know and trust such as a parent, sibling or other family member, carer, babysitter, religious leader, teacher, or friend of the family.
Any form of sexual activity with a child by an adult or an older person, is abusive. This could include sexual touching, sexual acts, flashing, making sexual comments, being made to watch sexual acts or pornography.
If you remember this happening you may feel:
scared to tell anyone
worried about what people will think or that they won’t believe you
sad because you lost a part of your childhood
disbelief that it happened
angry at the person who did this and because no-one protected you
guilty because they tricked you into thinking you did something to make it happen
ashamed at not being able to stop it
confused about what happened or because it was someone you liked
betrayed.
‘For many years I blamed myself for the abuse because I didn’t stop it.’
‘He told me he was doing it because he loved me.'
‘I think my mother suspected what was happening, but she was too afraid of my step-father to do anything about it.’
It’s OK to feel angry
It’s not your fault
You were a child
They knew it was wrong
Child sexual abuse is a crime
The trauma of sexual abuse shows up in different ways because everyone has their own way of coping. The effects may not be noticed for many years.
Many people who were abused say that they they:
hate their body
feel bad about themselves
don’t trust anyone or find intimacy in relationships difficult
often ‘space out’
sometimes feel crazy ‘without reason’
hurt themselves
force themselves to be busy and ‘on the move’ all the time
feel angry at someone or angry at everyone
have nightmares and flashbacks of the abuse.
If you were sexually abused, these ideas might help:
Talking to someone you trust can help you feel less alone
It can be a relief to accept that the abuse really happened and that it caused you great pain. This pain is a normal reaction to trauma
Try to trust your memories and feelings
Remember - it was not your fault - the person who hurt you is to blame
You have lived through the abuse and survived
‘Even though it may seem frightening to accept that you have been abused, it is an important step and there is support out there when you need it.’
‘I struggled with depression for years. I have only recently understood how it is connected to the abuse I suffered as a child.’
‘A big thing for me has been to learn to feel connected to the world again. For years I felt like a zombie, it was like I wasn’t connected to my feelings or to other people.’
There are services that can help
www.reachout.com.au
www.kidshelpline.com.au or 1800 551 800
www.healthline.com
www.lifeline.org.au or 13 11 14
I'll add a complete resource list in my blog for further information.
