Chocolate Thunder

I'd like to meet:

Name: Matt Earl
Birthdate: Gun Barrel City, TX
Birthplace: In an old iron bath tub.
Current Location: BEHIND YOU!
Eye Color: Marble Blue with a hint of mystique.
Hair Color: Plaid blonde.
Height: I can touch the top of a backboard.
Weight: Are you calling me fat?
Piercings: I have my ballsack pierced it was a terrible idea.
Tatoos: Theres an exact replica of a Rembrandt on my back and wolf and lions fighting on my chest. It represents the strength of a man.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Only on sundays.
Overused Phraze: Your face is an overused phraze
FAVORITES
Food: Escargot with pralines sprinkled in.
Candy: Yeah I see her at Mons Venus every once in awhile, she's cool.
Number: I'm going to have to say I'm a strong, silent 7.
Color: Mother of Pearl.
Animal: A palamino with sold gold fur and the build of a andre the giant.
Drink: Human souls in liquid form.
Alcohol Drink: My own urine.
Bagel: No thank you, I'm a crumpet fan.
Letter: G.....O and G....OG.
Body Part on Opposite sex: Asshole.
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Trick question, RC Cola.
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Chowdah.
Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawtermelon.
Hot tea or Ice tea: A nice hot tea after the clubs annual croquet match.
Chocolate or Vanilla Chocolate, how I like my ladies.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot chocolate but with no marshmallows because one time I put some in and they melted in the drink and burnt my lip, and it looked like a cold sore but it wasn't so don't worry about it if I made out with you.
Kiss or Hug: Why not anal.
Dog or Cat: Ponies.
Rap or Punk: Punk because im a real hardass who wears cool Pac-sun and doesnt care about ANYTHING! yeeeeah! actually rap...probably rap
Summer or Winter: Winter because who likes soft nipples.
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: A mixture of both because I'm bipolar.
Love or Money: Love of money.
YOUR...
Bedtime: Usually 7, maybe 7:30 if I don't get my sleepy time tea.
Most Missed Memory: The summer of 69.
Best phyiscal feature: My upper dorsemus because the tibia is so defined.
First Thought Waking Up: What the hell is Morgan Freeman doing in here?
Goal for this year: To scale K2 with nothing but 100 toy poodles connected by paper clips.
Best Friends: Jesus, the rest died.
Weakness: The rare metal berilium.
Fears: Sharks that are able to come upon land, throw away the shackles that mankind has put on them and rise up to take the world under the great shark leader Galbernon.
Heritage: French-Canadian with a touch of Welsh.
Longest relationship: 34 of the greatest years of my life.
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: A appletini or cosmo.
Ever Smoked: Ew, cigarette's are bad for you. Camel Lights.
Pot: holes. Ha....hahah....
Ever been Drunk: By any girl I've hooked up with.
Ever been beaten up: Once, by the Hulk and he sucker punched me.
Ever beaten someone up: Just god.
Ever Shoplifted: Womens clothing, I give it to my cousins.
Ever Skinny Dipped: I'm skinny dipping right now, without the clothes.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Paul Terminello wishes.
Been Dumped Lately: Psh.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Black
Favorite Hair Color: Black
Short or Long: Shaved.
Height: Nowhere over 5'0.
Style: Black.
Looks or Personality: JG WENTWORTH CASH NOW!
Hot or Cute Hute.
Drugs and Alcohol: I want them clean, I dont want crabbes again.
Muscular or Really Skinny: I want them to be able to military press the whole stack.
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: Enough to shake some sort of stick at.
What country do you want to Visit: Jupiter and/or Narnia.
How do you want to Die: In a fiery hail of gunfire and lust.
Been to the Mall Lately: I own a mall.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only when listening to seal and working on haiku's.
Get along with your Parents: SHUT UP I HATE YOU I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!
Health Freak: Let's just say somewhere there's an attic with a portrait of me rotting away.
Do you think your Attractive: Is the pope black? Wait....
Believe in Yourself: How else would I ever fly?
Want to go to College: No, college is for rich kids.
Do you Smoke: You....already asked me this.
Do you Drink: Your face.
Shower Daily: Weekly.
Been in Love: With fig newtons.
Do you Sing: Sometimes for my cats.
Want to get Married: Yeah right.
Do you want Children: So they can rise up and usurp the thrown from me? Fah!
Have your future kids names planned out: Gertrude, Magnum and Ross.
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: Never!
Hate anyone: Yeah pretty much anyone who read this.

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