The Mättitüde profile picture

The Mättitüde

About Me

I am the roner of the night. I have nightmares that nightmares are having nightmares about me. I am on the phone with monday and tuesday is on the phone with me. Please stop. Please stop talking. Please stop talking monkeys from taking over this star base. I am the personality Tyler Durden created to take care of the business he was too wussy to deal with. When I look into the abyss, the abyss FUCKING THROWS UP. I'm that guy who followed you home from school, hid behind a tree waiting until your birthday party got good and swingin', took a shit on your doorstep and rang the bell, then while you and your family and your three pathetic friends who met you in that bedwetting support group were freaking out about the door poop, I snuck into your backyard where I took a SHIT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE AND HAD A GOOD LAUGH. I snort Ritalin off of bars at 6 in the morning. I make your brain squirt into your pants, I lick it up, I spit it into your mouth. I am the kind of dirty that doesn't wash off.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Your mom. Drunk, without pants.

My Blog

Under My Skin

  So, I haven't written anything in a good long while, and those of you who don't have daily contact with me are probably wondering how I'm doing... Or even whether I'm still alive, based on my l...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:47:00 GMT

Och, Aye, It Hurts Me Too

When I was a kid, I used to love Sesame Street. My parents are leftist intellectuals, so that show made perfect sense to me. My mom and dad seemed like freaky idealists to me when I met other kids' ...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Apr 2006 08:17:00 GMT

Matty Flo-Flo: The Cling Clang King of the Rim Ram Room

Yes, I have no idea idea where I'll be living for a while. Yes, I have to buy a bunch of shit I can't really afford within the next week or so. Yes, my beloved Green Bay Packers, regardless of their...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Oct 2005 03:55:00 GMT

Truck

What's black and pink and Doctor Who all over? My fucking blog obviously. Man, am I cool or what? Anyway... There is a little road about seven miles south of Eau Claire, WI called Timber Ridge C...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Oct 2005 15:56:00 GMT

Impotent Rage

Cowards prey on the weak . I've spent a good portion of my energy up till now trying to ensure that decent cowards with potential amongst the herd put their fucking heads up and get some fucking s...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Sep 2005 06:03:00 GMT

For any of my friends who feel tired of the bars

Oh... Harvey and I sit in bars have a drink or two and play the jukebox And soon the faces of all the other people -they turn toward mine and they smile. They're saying, "We don't know your nam...
Posted by on Fri, 26 Aug 2005 15:26:00 GMT

Toxic Narcotic at the Allen

So we were going to play with Toxic at the Allen Theatre on August 18th, and I was really psyched. Toxic Narcotic is a great fucking band, the guys are cool as hell, we usually all get tits-up drunk ...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT

NA in the mouth of the beast

So I guess I didn't see the point of Warped Tour. The coolest thing that happened during our sets at this corporate funded wank fest were those kids at the Ventura show who told me they snuck in... b...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT