Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt Cockpit full of memories and a dream full of guiltMy name is Ian Mathias Bavitz
I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Syosset
hospital, located in Long Island, NY
I am 6 foot, for I weigh 2-0-0 pounds
I have brown hair and green eyes
I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food
I have two brothers, Chris and Graham
and two parents, Paul and Jameija
In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy..
This was originally not for public consumption
This was made for four people... four people that
literally saved my life
They know who they are..
And ahhh I mean I could live to be a thousand
years old and never re-pay them
I don't think this song would pay for them
But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further..
This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't)
This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't)
My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York
Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK
In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof
brain bone, scaffling imploded
I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling
to the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips
for ciggaretes and soda, shook me to kasper
Dizzy with a nothern chaser, motor sensory eraser
Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangements
Rose rapidly outta bog I'd never fished in
that abates three separate foreign men's
While I seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing
Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body
but the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi
So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mol edge
Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence
And, I'd be lying if I said all of this
made even the slightest fragment of sense to me
That's frail... Simply put
I don't know what happened, or what's still happening
I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity
JAMIE,
I killed the robots and I'm sorry
Broke down in front of you, embarrassed
but you lent a heart and hand that only you could
you're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for you
That's my word, which is about all I have left
TONY,
I know you know i'm crazy, 'cause you told me
but that did never bother you, I hold you as my
brother 'til death
And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step
for makin' a cat laugh, when I was walking with the dead
KATHERINE, mother figure, older sister, concerned be a limits
Letting me know I wasn't the only one with this
Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits
Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons
RIYAH, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed
An' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit it
You listened to me blab about my issues for hours
Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished
Am I a jack of all trades? No... I like to write songs tho'
Are they good? I dunno..
But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it
So take this how you want, but know I mean it
I want you all to know that I'm scared
Now my fuckin' crooked soul never faced a
monster like the last few months
Ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't)
But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesive
So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you
Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness
I owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement
'Cause without y'all I may not have a life to offer, take itThank you
I wish I could explain this better. (Thank you)
I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures. (Thank you)
I love you all with all that's left of me. (Thank you)
For helping try to kill what made a mess of me. (Thank you)
Somehow, someway. (Thank you)
I'ma get you back someday. (Thank you)
Just gotta figure this all out... So..I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back
How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures
Other men operate normally under
I have scoped this out from all angles, walking through time
I have been over everything in my head, 'till I can't think anymore
But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there
to breathe for you
I am lucky enough to have those people around me
Thank you for helping me to not die
Thank you for helping me to not diePocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt
Cockpit full of memories and a dream full of guilt
I have a lot of problems.