What can I say? I'm just a regular guy who's just as comfortable in a suit and tie as I am in a ragged pair of jeans. I work hard and I play hard. I can bench press over 748 pounds. I eat tomatoes raw without chopping them up. I once shot a man in the chest, then dressed his wounds and served him a warm cup of cocoa until he recovered. I am responsible for the Gulf of Tonkin incident. I taught Matt Hasselbeck how to throw a perfect spiral. I invented the bird flu.
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