Alan profile picture

Alan

I am here for Friends

About Me

I am amazing, I have a good sense of smell, 20/20 vision and some people say my hearing is better than most horses. People who meet me usually are stunned and just say 'wow!' cos my charisma is mind blowing. I am very modest. I enjoy jigsaws, cross stitch and gardening. Please though, if you see me, don't touch me, I don't like losers dirty little germy hands anywhere near me, so if you wanna have a look you'd better put some sterile gloves on but i'd rather you not even try to come near me. Thanks.This is my son harry. And I put this picture on www.hotornot.com to see what happened. Help change this fickle world and go vote for this creature at http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=RRSMSMO&key=UBW Remember, you can make a differance.

My Interests

Wooded areas. Bramble picking. Mowing the lawn. Hamster stomping. Cleaning up squashed hamsters. Processing dead hamsters. Selling my own special secret recipe meat pies. Making things out of fur. And dogs that attack their own paws. Computers

I'd like to meet:

Rik Waller. Michelle McManus. Meatloaf. Russle Grant. Any human whale to be honest. I want to pull their skin to see how far it stretches and generally just manhandle them to see what it feels like. And this guy who got kicked by a cow to ask how much it hurt.

Music:

Jingle Bells. The reason? Listen to it backwards, you'll see why. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/652

Movies:

Yes i once saw one through a window, a dude had long nails and looked a bit burned. May have been dennis the menace all grown up after a sleight chip pan accident? ..

Television:

This one was a tough one so I wikipedia'd it. Heres what I found out. Television (often abbreviated to TV, T.V.; sometimes called the tube, or telly in the UK) is a widely used telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving moving pictures and sound over a distance. Amazing eh??? This next bit is a bit hazy cos I lost interest after typing in midget and copying and pasting that first bit. I think it was invented in 230bc by a dude who was getting bored watching stonings all day long and wanted some extreme sports accidents.

Books:

I love any book that i can sit and read all day in Starbucks sniffin coffee, cos I'm a pretentious twat.

Heroes:

This Guy. Just dont do what he does, sounds like it really hurt from the noise he makes. Don't think i'll ever try touching a praying mantis however small it is now.

My Blog

Yes and know.

Oh i'm so ecxited. I'm writing my first ever blog, check out mr new age internetty maggiga (is that a racist word? Apologies to anyone offended if it is (like anyone at all is going to read this, nev...
Posted by Alan on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:17:00 PST