Ryan (now with less puberty)

About Me

crap in crap out

My Interests

A interstate of a billion narrow pathways, bread crumbed with the corpses of my enemies leading to an orgy of sunshine where all of my friends await my arrival - all of them dusted in gold and unable to speak or annoy me.that's how I get to work.

I'd like to meet:

my real parents, who live inside the earths core.

Music:

Prince and only Prince.

Movies:

Films for blind men with 4 hour erections.

Television:

It has to be a freight train hollering around my collar. A garden of energy in both my back pockets. God's son skipping Sunday School to blow raspberries on my furry gut. That and nothing less - or at least the best of those 3 and the less of the rest.

Books:

Just go ahead and imagine any title that would impress you. Pretend I told you it was of great inspiration to me. Then imagine us on a valiant quest to stop evil do'ers from destroying this very book. and let's wear clothing made by clones of our grandparents - now 10 years old and severely retarded from severe obese'd poodle whippings, using only wild flowers and tampons as materials.

Heroes:

Hero worship is part of the same derailed train of thought that brought us such classic hits as the "Nazi Party", "African Slavery" and "American Idol".Although...I must admit...Nazi's are great kissers!

My Blog

Those whom Midwest it May 17-22

Salted tampons and blood sausage wrapped in chicken wire. check. aligator semen douche with optional flame thrower. check. Multi-colored wire hangers wrapped in black teflon flex tape.&nbs...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 07:59:00 PST

10 chunks of various genital fare

Normally I'm immune to Internet gayiteious tomfooleretardationism but respect for boobs conquers all...and so we come to... me being "tagged?" by another myspace layout operator into bloggi...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 01:16:00 PST

4.1.07 Super Happy Friends List Rank Order

I hate everyone in my top 20.APRIL FOOLS!!!I only hate a few of you. and even that's just a reflection on past failures. or because you smell like toe nails.But in celebration of my ...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Sun, 01 Apr 2007 12:10:00 PST

Rank and file Order for the March 22nd 20 woot suck

Ok I gonna come at ya left field a bit this time. Roll with me on this one. Clear your thoughts. Picture yourself alone in a darkened movie theater looking up at a vacant screen. &nbs...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 04:55:00 PST

3.14.07 MYspace Ranking Criteria

SO!Today I have decided to rank my 20 FEATURED FRIENDS in a new system.I decided to really challenge myself and think deeply about each person's true identity whilst formulating my equations. Th...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 05:01:00 PST

in case you weren't sure...

yes my playlist is indeed superior to everyone else in the universe,
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 09:13:00 PST

SUGGEST A SEXUAL POSITION

please give me some suggestion on how to rank my current top friends list. currently this order is based on how well one could dig a midgets grave using only a pickle - whilst getting sodomized ...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 03:30:00 PST

MySpace Friend List Order Criteria for 2.20.07

For the next duration of time (yet unspecified) My friend list on Myspace will show in order -the confidence level I have in that person to successfully navigate an asteroid field, backwards in the mi...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 04:46:00 PST

My Current Top Friends...

Are now ranked in order in my perception of how they would stack up - in a make out session contest with a water buffalo covered in diseased pig shit.Hats off to the winners!
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 04:29:00 PST

this blogs for you

Not really you in particular.I mean- you knew that right?I appreciate the delusions of my grandeur if you thought otherwise though. thats rad. I wish I had super brain into the future spec...
Posted by Ryan (now with less puberty) on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 06:57:00 PST