Yes, I am
-Charles Bukowski
no matter what woman i'm with
people ask me,
are you still with her?
my average relationship lasts
two-and-one-half years:
with war
inflation
unemployment
alcoholism
gambling
minor poverty
and my own degenerate personality
I think I do well enough.
I like reading the Sunday papers in bed with her.
I like orange ribbons tied around the cat's neck.
I like sleeping up against a body that i know well.
I like black slips tossed on the foot of my bed
at 2 in the afternoon.
I like seeing how the photos turned out.
I like to be helped through the holidays:
4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's.
women know best how to ride those rapids
and they are less afraid of love than I am.
my women make me laugh where professional comedians fail.
there is the comfort of walking out to buy a newspaper together.
I take much pleasure in being alone
but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.
I like sharing boiled red potatoes late at night.
I like eyes and fingers keener than mine that can
untie the knots in my sholaces.
I like letting her drive the car on dark nights
when the road and the way are too much for me.
the car radio on
we light cigarettes and talk about small things
and now and then we
fall silent.
I like hairpins left on the table and
on the bathroom floor.
I like sharing these same walls with
the same woman.
I dislike the insane and useless fights which sometimes occur.
and i dislike myself at those times
giving nothing
understanding nothing.
alone or together
I like boiled asparagus
and radishes
and green onions.
I like running my car through a car wash.
I like it when I have $10 to win on a six-to-one shot.
I like my little radio which plays
Shostakovich, Brahms, Beethoven, Mahler.
but I also like it when there's a knock on the door and
she's there.
no matter what woman I'm with
people ask me,
are you still with her?
they must think I bury them
one at a time in
the Hollywood Hills.