hambel the knitted rocknroller

greetings, i'm a stuffed teddybear called hambel, i've lived all my stocking-filled life watching my best friend brent go here and there with varying degrees of fulfillment, but he's fine, super, bonza, pretty darn cookin' and content right now, so i no longer have to be the knitted-kaiser in the distance of the spotlight and court anonymity any longer. phew what a blast! crack out the champagne and soak my pink nose in goose-curry this feels fantastic. i will say one thing tho', brent's been awful, i mean awfully sweet to me over the years, you know sickly sweet, like bathing in molasses; i've climbed cacti in majorca, done the rounds of times square in new york, flown business class, been swimming in the finest hotel pools of australia, been on stage, admittedly hiding in the back of his vox ac30 amplifier at the old punters club in melbourne, i was yelling, turn down the racket buster! but no no no, he didn't notice; yeah it's been a funny excursion for a non-living thing, but god i thank brent for the good times. but now, now folks i step into the limelight and show brent that while he's been meticulously out-pouring his nervous system with broken down loves and lost lives, ok, i admit he has a little bit of talent, but it's roll down the bright red carpet (not offcuts of me please!) raise the curtain like a professional window-dresser, bang on the lights and well, show him that i'm the czar of melody thank you very much. i hope you enjoy every last milli-second of my offerings, it's gotta be music, i can't cook for you..... so relax and put yer feet up (brent nicked that title from me and as you will see in fact he's plagiarised everything i've emitted including my famous cotton-wool burps that swept the imagination of a non-existent nation into the depths of stupidity. so without further fuss, relax, enjoy, and what will pound yer ears will alter your bank balance like a delicate kiss from an H-bomb or something like that, thanks very much for your time you fleshy human things, love hambel - the ongoing kingdom of all things pointless, cheers then.....kisses and hugs and snuggles and cuddles, xo xo xo oo x o xx o x bob statue bob bob statue, hehehe!