Behold a new Testament! ,
also known as the most reliable story of Maria, the trash mannequin...
for free,
as Virgin,
maid of all airplane companies,
also known for their nonsensical shameful commercials,
had promised them a free air trip,
if they,
totally dressed up in a fascist bathing suit and if necessary with bathing-cap,
would come to vote on the day of the national Belgian elections.
And that’s what they did.
It was a day to remember,
a glorious swimming-suit moment in the local polling station,
a day of senseless history, a day for which the indigenous will speak on and on.
So they got a safe-conduct from lady Virgin to use one of her planes,
not to visit hackneyed cities as Jerusalem or Bethlehem, no, as you’re ought to know,
the Jewish empire is outmoded, forgive me, but ready to be gassed or bomb-raped once more.
It became Mallorca,
a by sun dominated and by water surrounded island,
besieged by ass-eating sunbathers and invaded by many barbaric tourist-germans, friends of to many sausages.
It was a splendid cradle for a new ‘Celestial Apparition’.
Thus,
it was Fate
who brought them by plane on this sunny Spanish island,
it was Fate
who conducted them to the notorious place.
But…
it was God, the Father himself,
the ruthless dictator of our universe, the creator of the phenomenon ‘Jesus’ and the inventor of the sea cow
who laid down,
on the place were the ten were sent by Mr. Fate.
Maria,
the first divine window-figure,
fulfilled with an even divine Messiah-mission.
They found her on the pavement,
surrounded by a pale dung that intended to be a crib.
They took her,
gave her arms and legs
and brought her to their gentile dwelling.
They were the first to preach the astonishing story,
the story of Maria, the trash mannequin.
But,
those who think that with that a new religious sect is born,
made after the example of these Christian host-crammers,
are unquestionably wrong!
Our beloved Belgium, home of the Flandriens and other Merckxians, is namely too barbarian, too knot, too boorish, too goddamned and differently civilized.
No,
a new religion needs a fancy country, with juicy people and solid soil.
Thus,
decided the ten apostles,
to ship divine Maria,
clandestine and totally camouflaged,
to the heart of Christianity: Italy!
This entirely innocent country became two thousand years ago,
the habitat, missionary-fabric, the Pope-seat of the Catholic Church,
supporter of sex after marriage, without condom,
promoter of the celibate and attendant acolyte-rapers.
So to say,
swankly done…
Rome, Milan, Bologna and the rest of Italy gave in,
who’s next?
Maria the trash mannequin,
more fearful that Paris Hilton in prison,
more ruthless than Stiffler’s mum,
a faith-killing machine…
Maria appearing on Saint Patricksday, Bologna 2006:
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