friendship based on mutual interests is doomed.
..and people that can handle me.
some stuff you listen to and some you don't.
candy, green street holligans, the rules of attraction, anchor man, the secretary, stella, and the sound of music.
i don't watch it much. the history channel is sweet though.
if i had only... forgotten future greatness and looked at the green things and the buildings and reached out to those around me and smelled the air and ignored the forms and the self-styled obligations and heard the rain on the roof and put my arms around my loved ones ...and it's not to latehe may die before morning. but i have been with him for four years. there's no way i could be cheated if i didn't have him fr another day. i didn't deserve her for one minute. god knows.and i may die before morning.what i must do is die now. i must accept the justice of death and the injustice of more "life." i have had a good life-longer than many, better than most. i couldn't justify another day. i did not create myself, it is a gift. i am me, that is the miracle. i had no right to remain a single hour. some remain a single minute. and yet i have had nineteen years.few consciously choose when they will die. i choose to accept death now. as of this moment i give up my "right" to live. and i give up my "right" to his life.but it's morning. within my hands is another day. another day to listen and love and walk in glory. i am here for another day.i think of those who aren't.what does it mean to be here? what does it mean to have friends? what does it mean to get dressed, to have a meal, to work? what does it mean to come home? what is the difference between the living and the dead?i sometimes wonder if the "dead" are not more present, more comfort, more here than most of the living.today i want to do things to be doing them, not to be doing something else. i don't want to drive to get there, make love to have climaxes, or study to "keep abreast."i don't want to do things to sell myself on myself. i don't want to do nice things for people so that i will be "nice." i don't want to work to make money, i want to work to work.today i don't want to live for, i want to live.
There's death in handshakes and hello hugs.