Riah

http://www.myspace.com/justicemovement my favorite color is red, i always misspell red when typing it... for some reason i always spell read instead. i love traveling and want to go everywhere...i have mixed feelings about living in my hometown for the rest of my life... i love it but i hate it. i didn't pick the university i go to, my parents did, i was mad at first but now i have decided after finishing my freshman year there that it was a good choice after all. i've loved only two men outside of my family in my life, both have been removed from my life without my choice and at times i fear it will be impossible to ever love again. granted i'm young and have already loved twice but i have seemed to come to a road block in life which has prevented me from allowing men to get close enough for me to love them. my hair is naturally blonde but i used a semipermanent hair dye (fire truck red ((tangent... misspelled red that time again))) and the color actually stained my hair to its current shade of pink. aside from the strange hair color i have a fairly average appearence, pretty but not quite something you would want to stare at for hours like some girls. my personality has become blunt and at times harsh once again this circles back to the fact that i don't let people get too close. i may misguide you into thinking you are close but in reality i just like to flirt and talk alot. i love God but struggle with showing it. i've always wanted to do mission work for him but i'm scared to death of failing at it that i've never actually got up the courage to pursue such aspirations. i know God exists but i at times have to remind myself of that fact... i'm a control freak (to put it lightly) i dont like letting others take control.. hell i dont like letting guys pay for me on a date. every day i question who i am and if i will ever impact someone's life positively and every day i feel i've failed at coming closer to those desires. did i mention the fact that i like to ramble? i'm stuck in this self relfecting/contemplative mood that causes words to just come out of my mouth with out any control ...well in this situation come out of my finger tips but hey you get the picture... well i think i've said everything that i possibly could, probably too much but thats kind of how i am: over load at the beginging and if they come back again its less of a worry as to if i'll scare them away. i love talking so i'm always open for questions and believe it or not, i love listening so by all means talk to me just as much as i talk back.