Dead Bunny Yakuza

Hey, I've updated my profile! Oh wait, no I haven't.
Before you delve into these seemingly never-ending paragraphs of nonsense, you should be saying to yourself; "I'm not reading all that" and do something more meaningful, such as training to be a ninja like Ray Charles, or perhaps learning how to become a supervillain and taking over the world without being ignored/scoffed at/committed. Pretty much anything would suffice really. Everything written here is just line after line of self-centred twaddle anyway. You have been warned.
Anyhow, when coherent I work as a librarian, which admittedly is highly unlikely, but true nonetheless. Then again, if I were to lie about my profession, I'd probably choose something a bit more glamorous. Like llama inseminator, sewage treatment plant operator or prison inmate. Or perhaps an amalgamation of all three.
Come to think of it, the statements regarding me
a) being coherent
and
b) being a librarian
are both pretty ludicrous. Oh well. Ying tong iddle i po.
*Blah blah blah, pointless information no longer relevant to my desire for world domination of breakfast cereal, etc.*
I'm a slothful individual, and despite my good intentions I'm complete shit at answering emails within a few months. When I do eventually get around to answering people, the replies tend to be illegible and self-centered gibberish which tends to avoid any of the issues in question.
This is also the reason why I can't be arsed to update my profile, except these few lines which attempt, and succeed, to make me a sadly unfunny bastard. Praise be to me.
Despite these oh-so-fun facts, I'm a very boring and highly unlikeable individual with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Praise be to me.
My moustache is always bigger than yours. Humanity once again shrieks in anguish; a million voices combined into one apocalyptic helium tinged Wilhelm scream. Fear me. Fear my facial hair.
..