Sampson

My name is Sampson, although I also answer to "Princess", "Doorknob", and a variety of slurs. In fact, you can pretty much call me whatever you want, I'll answer to it as long as you let me shove my nose up your crotch afterward. I'm a three-year-old, ninety-pound American Pitbull Terrier/Labrador Retriever/German Shorthaired Pointer mix, adopted from Hillsborough County Animal Services when I was nine weeks old.
My hobbies include eating garbage, running away from scary noises, eating garbage, rolling in dead vermin, eating garbage, relocating household objects, eating garbage, peeing on trees, and eating garbage.
I love food (and things that aren't food, but look like they could be). I eat anything, but my favorite foods are things I'm not allowed to have, like cardboard boxes and books. I also have a cat that's a walking food dispenser, how great is that! There's nothing better than food on the go.
Speaking of cats, I live with two, but I like to think I'm friends with all the cats in the neighborhood. Some of them aren't very nice, though, so I stay away from those in case they get any big ideas like trying to eat me.
I have to say, I'm probably the greatest swimmer ever (like the-Michael-Phelps-of-dogs great). I love going to the beach and swimming for hours -- I even like swimming more than playing with other dogs (although sometimes I'll stop to give kisses to any of the ladies watching me... I love the ladies). In fact, if any ladies out there want to have a sloppy make out session with me, let me know. I'd love to explore the dark crevices of your throat with my tongue. Maybe I'll even let you watch me lick myself after.