iFarted profile picture

iFarted

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY CANT LIFE BE SIMPLE!!!

About Me

I'm 24 and live in Lodi, CA. I got a job for TeleTech in stockton ca, of which starts on October 11th. Than in November I will be going under "the knife" to have a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy so that I wont die from a heart attack, stroke, or diabetes. With the surgery, (which is costing $17,500 out of pocket), I will lose 85% excess body weight (fat). So the fat ass (me) that so many people over the years have made fun of me for, will eventually be a skinnier and buffer guy. And for those of you who think this is going to be the easy way out, (you are all daft, stupid, and full of shit). Try 2 weeks of liquid protein shakes taken at a tablespoon at a time every 3 minutes. Then try 2 weeks of soft foods in very small amounts. Oh and try to never gulp water or food for the rest of your life. And deal with yourself losing 90% of your hair for the first 3 months, than after all the weight loss, you have extra skin to deal with. All of this happens in about a year. So if you think this is easy. SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SIDE WAYS!! Thats my rant! Peace DjDreamz MyGen Profile Generator
Meet Mike Sweepstakes

Who wouldn't want to meet this guy!? This kat is awesome. If i still had cable, I'd watch him, so instead i "watch" dirty jobs on the computer! Sign up peeps, this would be so very cool to go meet him and join in on Dirty Jobs!


MoodSwing iPod



My Interests

I highly enjoy movies, Computers, Science (of all "ologies"), cartoons, sleeping, smoking, Swimming, camping (huge fan of camping) cycling (as long as it is not on an uphill, but downhills all good) I'm not exactly skinny...but hay, more to love right??

I'd like to meet:

Robin Williams, Bobby Collins, Jesus, Jim Carrey, Bill Cosby, Bill Engvall, Jeff Altman, Orny Addams, Random Clem.
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website

Music:

Music, just like music.
Tequila Ad
I think we have all seen those drug commercials on TV where they have a huge list of side effects. None of those drugs have anything on Tequila. Funny commercial spoof.

Movies:

STAR WARS!!!! (only the ones done in the 70's and 80's)All the Resident Evils, GrimFandango, any Aardman animations, Evan Almighty, SuperBad, Anger Managment, Big Daddy, Bruce Almighty, Me Myself and Irene...anything not to corny or cheesy, has a good plot and can be funny, oh and horror, definantly piss, and shit your pants scary movies are good, suspense to. CARTOONS!!! Any good movie, I'll watch.

Television:

The TV...I watch tv, and when I do...Law&Order SVU, CSI, Mythbusters, and dirtyjobs. Tomorrows Nobodies, Family Guy, Futurama, Baby blues, The Oblongs, Ed Edd and Eddy..

Books:

Zombeast, Where they're buried, Uncle Johns Bathroom reader, 1001 Dumbest things ever said, Uh-Oh *Some observations from both sides of the refrigerator door, and Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten.
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website

Heroes:

My Grandpa, My Dad, My Mom. They have all suceeded in what they wanted to do, and my dad is still trying to succed with his restaurant and to me that is heroic. Rest In Peace: Grandpa Andrew Zeller Bondi 1928-2004. __________________________________________________________

My Blog

Our Government Part 2

My complaint about our government Part 2(inevitably Longer) I wish I didn't have to write a letter like this one, but recent events leave me no choice. I will start this di...
Posted by iFarted on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:50:00 PST

Our Government Part 1

My complaint about our government part 1(yes its long but just read it) While no statement I'm about to make should be construed as suggesting or recommending that any person commit an illegal act of...
Posted by iFarted on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:45:00 PST

You know you live in cali when....

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in Engli...
Posted by iFarted on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 04:30:00 PST

College Guys Guide to Knowing when to clean house!

Top 100 Ways to tell when spring cleaning has come and your time has come to peel your ass off of the DNA encrusted couch and clean... 100. The hard boiled eggs in the fridge from easter...last year a...
Posted by iFarted on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 03:01:00 PST