TURBOFAG

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. And by busy I mean i had diarrhea. I love Burger King. I hope they will cater my wedding. I also hope they will be the bride. Maclean: Testimonial 1: Why I LOVE Tom..In Ground Hog Day, Bill Murray is in some shitty town and is forced to live the same day over and over again.Tom day dreams about this oppurtunity. It didnt matter that he had no drivers liscense, broke ass clothes and was a virgin. You see Tom would love to live March 17, 1998 over and over again because of the access to High School girls. Tom would make out with every single girl at berkeley high, he would start by making out with whole freshman class, then the sophmores, then the freshman again, then the juniors, then the freshman again. This would take 1000's of days. I also love Tom because he went from being completely engrossed in Roots Reggae and wearing ethopian shoelaces to being engrossed in butt rock and wearing slayer belt buckles. From doing shrooms in tilden and thinking about implications of repatriation to drinking coors at the Hut and playing air guitar, that kids is a lesson in true evolution! Testimonial 2:Why I HATE Tom...I hate Tom for having a big ass. Mines proabaly bigger but Im a halfbreed so people expect it. Tom takes all my glory. Its like seeing a fat retard with hand me downs, youre like "of course!" But when you see a buff ass retard straight fitted, youre like "oh shit!" I also hate Tom for going to a horrible college, he really shoud have gone to Arizona State. He would have been the most legendary frat boy ever, they would have named a foosball tournament after him and named a pledge after him. Brother Parsley would have been the guy at Lake Havisou going down on chicks for cigerettes. He would have worn the same visor and cargo shorts all 8 years and would have gotten STD's from drinking empties at the live out. Whiskey dick and sun burn would be taken to a new level. Tom, you really should go back to school now, you look and act like a high school sophmore who is really excited about riding in the trunk to a party in montclair