JySeLLe

To say my life is complicated would be an understatement. It's a complicated mess of beauty and sadness and hurt and love wound tight together and tangled so you can't see where one ends and another begins. But every day i'm grateful to be alive. I'm permanently stuck in the mindset that nothing is permanent, and am constantly terrified of losing that which I love most. I try to take nothing for granted, history has shown me how quick a disappearing act people can pull. It's so hard to trust sometimes. I can be very territorial sometimes. I get very jealous sometimes. I say hurtful things sometimes. It's only a defense mechanism. I am a firm believer in karma, I believe what you give is what you'll get in return, and the good you do will be rewarded, even if it's not right away. I believe everything happens for a reason, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things fall together. I will always try something new when the opportunity presents itself, I am definitely not a big fan of routine. I've learned the only way to live with myself is to take a chance every once in awhile, even when the outlook seems grim. I have more than my share of regrets, and often feel I need a fresh beginning. I have quite a few close friends and each of them is dear to my heart, I would kill for them and die for them gladly. They are the ones who keep me waking up every morning, they are the ones who keep me sane. My family is everything to me, my mom is my best friend and always will be. I need solitude, if I'm around people constantly I will find some way to hole myself up or take a walk around the city or plug in the earphones. I go crazy without a lot of alone time. I love to learn...I hate school and studying, but learning is truly amazing to me. I like being around people who are knowledgeable and smarter than me because of that, there is so much to learn, it often seems I know nothing about anything. I love good clean fun, going out with my friends, movie/game nights are love and i will always be up for a lunch/dinner/coffee/whatever date. Spontaneity is a must, and randomness is pretty much a given. I laugh all the time, some might call me easily amused, but I love the sound it makes. I am in love with the city, the lights and sights and sounds, I never tire of it. Call me crazy but I can't see any other way of spending my future. Take it or leave it. I'd prefer you take it though.