♥ JNicole ♥

I'd like to meet:

Television:

.. AUTISM: THE GUILT FACTOR..

Your autism spectrum child is interested in animals. In a completely "non-typical" method of conversation, your child names all the farm animals and wants you to repeat it back to him. Again and again and again! You do so and the guilt factor sets in. "This is so inappropriate" you think to yourself. "I should take this opportunity to teach my child how to converse appropriately." But you know that if you don't comply to your child's wishes he'll have a meltdown, and you're busying making dinner, your two year old is crying because she's hungry and your eldest needs help with her homework questions. Disheartened, you continue the banter with your child, blaming yourself for not doing a better job. The telephone rings and it's your friend. You're thoroughly enjoying the conversation but just then you notice your child repeatedly spinning the wheels on a toy truck while making a strange noise. "I shouldn't be talking to my friend. I should be teaching my child how to play with that toy" you silently berate yourself. Then your child begins to run up and down the hall and you silently reprimand yourself. "I must get off this phone. Time is precious and I should be engaging my child". Feeling discouraged, you're torn between hanging up on your friend and redirecting your child. When picking up your child from OT, you chat politely to the other parents. One mother mentions that her daughter has extra speech therapy. Another one talks about the social skills group she enrolled her son in. Another one declares that she just signed her child up for Karate with an aide to help him. Despair and guilt wash over you. "These parents do so much" you think to yourself. "How do they do it? Where do they find the time? I should do more. Perhaps I should have signed my child up for Karate instead of swimming." As the guilt factor sets in, you shamefully accuse yourself of being a bad parent. It's been a long day and you're exhausted. You've been to work, dealt with tantrums, spoken to three teachers, rearranged your child's therapy schedule, cooked dinner, bathed your children, cleaned up and prompted your child through simple activities. As you plop on the couch to watch some TV, that feeling of guilt washes over you. "I shouldn't be relaxing." You say to yourself. "I should be re-writing my child's program. I should be researching new methods of treatment. I should be going over my child's IEP." But your brain can't take one more thought about autism and you guiltily sink into the couch and think "Tomorrow, I'll tackle it tomorrow".