I have been told that I use humor in a attempt to hide who I really am. So, I suppose everything below this line is nothing more than a wordy guise. I was also recently told that when it comes to emotions, I am like Silly Putty, which made sense over a glass of burbon. However, the meaning has since been lost and I am still trying to figure it out.
I have come to realize that all I really want out of life is to be a pirate (or absolute power). I wish I owned an anvil. There are no limits as to what a great imagination can do with an anvil.
Monkeys are the greatest thing on the Earth. The only thing better is a smoking monkey.
Sometimes I am afraid that my life is going slower than I had imagined. Although, you know, Jesus was 33 before he really got famous and he is the son of God. What was his excuse? I suppose I shouldn't worry about it too much.
I have an odd fear of wigs. I have no idea why, but they really creep me out. It is just one of those things that has always been. As I child I was disturbed by the puppets in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. Fred Rogers was just too chummy with those freaks. I also hate balloons with a passion. I don't like the smell of latex or how bulky they are.
I really don't understand why people think that ignoring problems will make them go away. The warped logic behind that just blows my mind. The even more amazing part is that seemingly reasonable people are the ones who do this.
The second best thing after a monkey who is smoking is the cold side of the pillow. Seriously, do you realize how wonderful it is to flip the pillow over and rest your head in all that coldness. Think about it tonight. I really wish someone would design a six sided pillow! How awesome would that be? you could spend all night flipping the pillow. The coldness would never end! Also, I wish someone would come up with a blanket, but instead of heating it gets colder. You could search out those cold spots all night with your feet.
