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♣ Photography Is Just An Expression Of Yourself ♣Kind Of Normal? Possibly.
I have a job that I sometimes I hate. I pay my bills. I cry, I laugh, I learn. I have a family. I have emotions. I have more flaws than you could even possibly imagine. I hate having to put on makeup. I look like shit in the morning. I'm lazy. I procrastinate. I have three cats: Hades, Phoenix, and Nemesis. Plus my baby Tigger who lives with my parents with his schizophrenic brother Whiskers. I do not like who I am sometimes. I don't like the way I look most of the time. Sometimes I think people are lying to me when they say I'm beautiful. I enjoy when it rains, but not being outside in it. I love cheese. I don't date very much because I'm possibly too picky for my own good. While I am shallow to a point, I do need a woman to have intelligence, possibly more than is normal to be fully attracted to her. I think Velma Dinkley was hot for a cartoon. I have fears, I have phobias. I enjoy learning but hate school. My creativity is what drives me the most. I do drugs, I drink, I've been smoking cigarettes since the age of twelve. I believe in a higher power, though do not have a specific religion. I love television and the computer probably more than is healthy. I love expressing myself through art. I love to have fun, but I also like to sit around and do nothing at all. I am human, or at least somewhat.
But Sometimes Not So Much.
I have a list of mental disorders a mile long. They cause me to have rapid and severe mood changes that sometimes are hard for me to handle. I hear voices when my brain stops working correctly. I lose vocal tone and physical feeling, and for some reason my finger movement will fascinate me. My mind becomes very one track, and it can lead me to be suicidal. I also have a social disorder. I do not understand the meaning of too much honesty. I am always honest, and lying can actually be quite a difficult task sometimes. I "over share" too much. I speak in a funny way, or at least that's what I've been told. Fact overrides emotions for me. I will not save you from what I think if I think it will hurt you emotionally, and I wish others would do the same. Honesty doesn't cause confusion and you will always know where you stand. I have a problem interacting with other human beings, which causes me to be very solitary. I do not relate well to other people so the logical thing to do is not be around them. Unfortunately, interacting with other people is a crucial part of existing in this world. People are the reason you change and grow. Without growth there is no life, so I force myself to talk to people.
Obsession is the New Black.
Xena: Warrior Princess. Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Angel. Harry Potter. Bones. Leverage. My obsessions tend to steer towards television mostly. I love being obsessed with a world of fantasy because the real world is really very dull. I write fan fiction, make icons, websites, fan videos. You name it, I've done it a hundred times over. Xena/Gabrielle, Buffy/Faith, and Parker/Sophie makes me squee. Leverage is my newest and more dominating obsession at the moment. Entire YouTube channel for it, anyone? Yeah, I did that. I have obsessive dedication, hardcore. Have a tattoo on my body that represents that actually. I've been to a Xena convention, want to help plan a Leverage one if that's at all possible. Yeah, I probably do need some therapy, but these things make me happy more than anything else in my life, and happiness is something I need.
Fictional Characters Who Pwn.
Xena: She's the warrior princess, you just can't top that. And you most definitely cannot fuck with that. She's the reason I started to grow into a much stronger person.
"Anger clouds the mind, it prevents focus."
Faith: Faith is redemption. She proves that no matter how much you screw up your life, there's always a way to try and make it better, to make amends. To grow into a stronger and more stable individual. She is made of awesomesauce.
"You're protecting vampires? Are you the bad slayer now? Am I the good slayer now?"
Parker: Shes socially awkward and views the world like a child does. But she's the best thief in the world, brilliant when it comes to stealing anything, but yet has problems interacting with other human beings. She proves that no matter what your problems are, you can always excel in something you want to do.
"Forty two seconds to rob this bank: One security guard who never fired his gun before, two closed circuit camera's outside, one inside, and an glenn-reader safe built in the 1950's whose default combination is the birthday of the manager's wife. Get in and get out - forty two seconds."
Ares: The originally bad boy. God of War, obsessed with a woman he can never have, extremely manipulative. He's got some qualities I admire, though don't admit that I do very much because you know, they're wrong and everything.
"The secret, to understanding women, is to realise that they don't actually need men. Now if they ever figure this out it is a very sad day indeed, so we must *never* let them use tools, or take out the garbage, or let them open their own doors."
Bellatrix: She is the definition of the word obsession. Possibly infatuation. She's obsessed with Voldemort so much that nothing else in her life matters and I find it nice to see a character that also had an obsession issue.
"The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban, we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!"
Callisto: Also another character with an obsession problem. Obsessed with killing Xena, with destroying her life. There's a lesson in her story though, because in the end when she did, it didn't lift any burden, it didn't fix any of her problems. It just made her feel empty.
"The sight, just the sight, of Xena, Warrior Princess arguing on my behalf amuses me. So I will answer your question. I will tell you what I would do if you let me go. You let me go, and I will dedicate my life to hunting down and killing everything that you love. Your family, your friends, your reputation, even your horse. The reason I am being so honest with you is because the very idea of your pity is worse than death for me. You see, you created a monster with integrity, Xena. Scary, isn't it?"
Spike: Another redeemer, though he actually worked for it and it didn't just happen. He went through hell to get a soul, and so in earned it. He was hilarious on Angel, he drove him up the wall and his snarky attitude is something to admire.
"[in a girly voice] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night-thing? [in a Angel's voice] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. No, not the hair! Never the hair! [in a girly voice] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation? [in a Angel's voice] No, helping those in need's my job and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent puff is truely thanks enough. [in a girly voice] I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so... [in a Angel's voice] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away."
Livia: Typical angry teenager. Mommy left me, Daddy doesn't exist, I hate the world and have lethal weapon skills so let's just kill everyone! I love her, I do. She's just so immature with a heavy chunk of angst and violence on the side.
"Shut up! You are not my mother. Rome is my mother.
Sophie: Ah, the con artist and aspiring actress. Problem is, Sophie can't act unless it's part of a con. She's the best actress you'll never see on stage, but on stage she makes you want to gouge out your eyeballs. Shes sophisticated, shes sexy, she's smart, and she has the funniest inability to ever apologize to anyone. Ever.
"You need... you need someone to... I don’t know, crawl through an air duct, you call Parker; bash a head, Eliot; Internet porn, Hardison. You need someone to take over a movie, then... [me]"
Piper: I've always loved Piper because she is not the typical flashy beautiful woman you see on TV. She's real, she looks normal. Plus Piper went through the whole transition to being the moderator to the leader once Prue died, and is constantly seeking normality, which I can relate too. Though obviously not on a magical level. She also has this tendency to use awesome dry sarcasm.
"We're gonna do talk shows and book signings and then be taken by the C.I.A. and be dissected."
Angela: She's the only 'normal' person in the team she works with at the Jeffersonian. She's not a scientist, she's an artist. And yet while being radically different than everyone else around her, she seems to fit in perfectly. She's wild, she's spontaneous, and she lives to have a good time.
"We make life out of chaos and hope."
Eliot: The big muscular guy who can beat the crap out of anyone. Tell me you don't envy that, seriously. Plus, he has EPIC HAIR. I'm not kidding, it has it's own fan base. The best thing about him though? He's an amazing cook, and it shocks everyone because all they thought he could do was bash people's heads in. Proves there's more than just what you see on the surface.
"I’m cutting onion. De-veining shrimp. Pan searing some scallops. I got 200 people I need to feed, all right? Back off!"
