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i'll never forget yesterday. i swear.. it feels like it just happened an hour ago..My aunt called me and my husband came to tell me yesterday that i should visit my grandma, that she was in pretty bad shape. i walked in the door, expecting her to be sitting in the bed like usual, but she wasn't, nobody was, they were all in the waiting room. i walked in there and immediately started crying. i dont know why i cried already, but i guess i just knew what was coming.i walked into my grandmas room and she was laying there on her hospital bed, asleep. well.. sort of asleep. because the doctors had given her morphine and were also giving her oxygen to breathe. she was laying with her head tilted all the way back, her mouth wide open, gasping for air every few seconds. i burst out in tears, and cried for a long time by myself. The nurse said we could talk to her, that she might be able to hear us. So i did. At first i told her she couldn't leave, that she had to be alive to see me graduate, that she couldn't leave me here by myself. But then as i looked at her more closely, so helpless, i stroked her hair, kissed her on the forehead, told her i loved her, and that it was okay to go, she didn't deserve this struggling. My uncle bubba arrived and then we cried together talking about any memories we had of her.While we were sitting there i noticed her gasps were becoming farther apart. but as soon as i walked out of the room . she was gone. we all ran in there and she had stopped breathing and she had no pulse. me and my brother lamont walked in slowly,and terrance and christa. I touched her face and said "grandma wake up. you're still warm.." but as soon as I realized she really was dead I started shaking and cried out. I looked at old photo albums and cried. She would joke and have us laughing for hours, and i knew how annoyed she was but she never once complained. I just couldn't believe she really was gone, I still cant. The coroners arrived around 2:30 to pronounce her gone, but I wanted to say one last goodbye. One by one we walked up to her, kissed her on the forehead, whispered our goodbyes in her ear, and walked out crying. She was so helpless, she still was warm and i thought once again she was gonna start breathing again but.. it was a horrible feeling when she didnt. I cried as hard as i could the entire ride home. I hadn't cried that hard in a min.. i don't even knowGrandma.. I can't believe you're gone, I really can't. You were the most amazing woman i had ever met in my life and i looked up to you so much. But honestly, I don't even need material things to remember you. I ALWAYS will remember you. I'll remember how your hair was always tied up, but you still found some way to complain about the rag i bought u. I'll remember how you always wore your little colored socks with sandles. I'll remember u and that Tube rose snuff. Going to ms. chaplin as you would call it, and then going back to your house for some cheese and honey bun. i remember when we would eat ur snacks and you chased me around the house with a butter knife or a black fryin pan. In the morning you'd always give me a time before iwen to school. i dont know why, but it was always so much better that way. You were always so proud of your cooking and your heritage, and i was too. I always loved u. We ate the last of your butter beans (me & juicey) Grandma, it really made me feel as though you left them for us to eat after school but i guess u didnt when u blessed us out. Nobody makes them like you do. I'll always remember how you somehow always forgot to take the lid off when you would take a dip of snuff, and how you always made me feel so special on our birthday because it was the same as mine. We took the precious moments old time stories that you used to tell us, and the gospel tape we used to always listen to in the car with us grandma. I really loved you, we all did. You did alot for me and i appreciated it so much. You're in a better place now, and someday i'll be able to see you again. I wish you could come to my graduation in a year, i wanted to make you proud. I know you was already.. I love you so much. You'll never be forgotten.♥RIP Grandma Pearline♥ Aug 28th, 2008To everyone else, i don't know if you actually read this or not, but if you did i hope it taught you something. Do you tell your grandparents you love them constantly? Do you let them know how much you appreciate everything they've done for you? Hopefully you do, but if you don't, please make sure you do because you never know when that day will come when its too late. And that might just be the day when you realize how much you really do love them then the memorial service is next couple of days. i want to speak at it, i really do. i have so much to say, this blog is just the beginning of it. but i dont think i'd be able to say a word without crying.You were what held us together as a family Grandma, and it will be hard without you here with us, but we can do it. We won't let you down.While sitting there talking about memories I had of her, i noticed her breaths♥RIP Grandma♥ Aug. 28th, 2008