Giuseppe - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am Gunnery Sergeant Giuseppe, your senior blogger. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive my blogging... you will be enlightened, you will be a minister of knowledge, praying for a war of words. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit!
Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the mental capacity to accept my words as truth! Do you maggots understand that?
You will listen you little scumbags! I've got your names! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers I will teach you. You had best unfuck yourselves or I will unscrew your heads and shit down your necks!

My Interests

Natural Disasters resulting in awkward situations such as your dresser floating out of your front door and down the block, along side a neighbors body. Or when you are surfing around Indonesia and suddenly the "Big Wave" hits, but you aren't really ready for it and end up 20 miles inland. The hike back to your beachside hotel is a bother.

I'd like to meet:

Jesus, because we don't get along.
One time, me and Jesus were walking on the beach. I noticed our foot prints behind us in the sand. I then said "How come, during the hardest times in my life there was only one set of footprints in the sand? Jesus, why did you abandon me during those times?"
Jesus said "No Giuseppe, that is when I carried you through it all." I cursed "Jesus Christ!" and he said "Yeah?" because that's his name after all. I proceeded to punch him in the face saying "Get your hands off me! You can't carry me! I can walk on my own! I don't need a savior carrying me... that looks stupid."
I mean come on, imagine you were at the beach with your towels and cooler when you finally see Jesus, this little skinny guy who can't pull himself off a cross, carrying a decent sized guy like me? You have look and say to yourself, there's no way that's possible. It's bullshit!
So then he admitted to me "Alright, the footprints were yours... I left you." And I said "Fucking Jesus man." Bad blood from that moment on.

Music:

Music? There will be no fucking music on this site! And anyone who inserts self starting videos and music into their MySpace page makes me want to vomit! Nothing should be self starting because it's fucking annoying!
What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing to my speakers? Why is this terrible music playing when I haven't touched a button?! Who listens to this steaming pile of shit?! Why isn't a family member or friend stomping your guts out for subjecting the Internet populace to it?!

Movies:

If you are a man... and you do not have the following titles on your favorite movie list, please do me a very small favor. Proceed to put a shotgun under your chin and pull the trigger with your toe. Thank you.
1) Full Metal Jacket - "Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!"
2) Scarface - "Is this it? Is this what it's all about, Manny? Eating, Drinking, Fucking, Sucking, Snorting? Then what? Tell me, then what? You're fifty. You gotta bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra; they got hair on 'em. You got a liver, it's got spots on it, and your eatin' dis fucking shit; and you're looking like these rich fucking mummies in here. Is this what it's all about? Is this what I work for? Look at that, a junkie. I gotta fucking junkie for a wife. Don't eat nothin', sleeps all day wit dem black chades on. Wakes up with a qualude. And who won't fuck me, cuz she's in a coma. I can't even have a kid wit'er, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fucking little baby wit'er!"
3) Platoon - "You all take a good look at this lump of shit. Remember what it looks like. You fuck up in a firefight... and I goddamn guarantee you a trip out of the bush - in a body bag! Out here, assholes, you keep your shit wired tight at all times! And that goes for you, shit-for-brains. You don't sleep on no fuckin' ambush! And the next sum'bitch I catch coppin Z's in the bush, I'm personally gonna take an interest in seein' him suffer. I shit you not. Doc, tag him and bag him!"
4) Apocalypse Now - "You smell that? Do you smell that? ...Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end... "
5) The Godfather - "He was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time! Players couldn't get a drink at the table! What's wrong with you?"
6) Casino - ::after stabbing a guy repeatedly in the neck with a pen:: "What's that? You hear? You hear a little girl, Frankie? You hear a little girl, Ace? Is that a little fuckin' girl?! What happened to the fuckin' tough guy? Told my friend stick it up his fuckin' ass?! Huh?! Huh?!"
7) Goodfellas - "What the fuck are you doing? You're hanging around my fuckin' neck like a vulture, like impending death."

Books:

The Bible,Nothing better than reading the most insane stories ever created by man. It's extremely pathetic however, to know so many people in this fucked up world take the Bible as absolute truth. A bunch of fucktards didn't have the brains to know otherwise and so it passed, generation to generation, until it reached the point we are at now. Millions and millions of people scattered throughout the world that believe in fairy tales. Sad really.
The Bible is certainly not the only one in this category, but it's the only one I was subjected to as a child. Please feel free to place in it's stead any other religious piece of literature that is considered absolute by any religious belief system. They all are complete fools and I will happily stand aside while they destroy one another. I will then piss on their ashes and laugh so long and so hard, I may fall into a coma.

My Blog

Ladies and Gentlemen (Halloween Party)

Now you listen, and you listen good. October 28th. Saturday. Beginning around 8PM. PARTY FUCKING TIME! It's BYO. Don't come to my house with a 6 pack, chug them down, then proceed...
Posted by Giuseppe on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 01:16:00 PST

Yearly Birthday Bash (8-12-06 Saturday, Starting @ 1PM)

All, The time has come for my yearly birthday Kegger bash. As per usual, the weather is going to be great. I know this because I am otherwordly and divine... I can predict and/or manipulate these thi...
Posted by Giuseppe on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 01:10:00 PST

Thank you to all.

All,Thank you to all who attended the Parkway Pub in memory of Ink tonight. It was great to see everyone together, talking, having fun, drinking, and reminiscing. I'm positive it was exact...
Posted by Giuseppe on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 09:58:00 PST

Wake & Funeral Times for Ink (Obituaries)

Posted from www.bostonglobe.comAnthony R. Iencarelli "Of Everett on July 22nd. Loving son of Anthony P. and Mary E. (Fariole) Iencarelli. Survived by his loving Aunt Cecelia Rallo and her husband Pau...
Posted by Giuseppe on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 05:41:00 PST

Gathering In Memory of Ink. (7-25-06 @ 8PM)

All,I believe we shall see something in either of the papers obituaries tomorrow informing us of times and places for the Wake and Funeral. There have also been multiple Bulletins posted in regards t...
Posted by Giuseppe on Tue, 25 Jul 2006 08:29:00 PST

Information on Anthony Iencarelli.

All,As you may or may not know, Anthony Ink Iencarelli passed away a few nights ago. This Bulletin/Blog is a means to keep everyone up to date on what we know about services.The Wake/Funeral has not b...
Posted by Giuseppe on Mon, 24 Jul 2006 11:10:00 PST

Choooooo Choooooooooo! Clang Clang Clang Clang.

Orange Line Train >(is greater than) Guy Walking on Tracks. News flash! If you face off against a train, the train is always going to kick your ass. Also, try not to walk on train tracks o...
Posted by Giuseppe on Wed, 28 Jun 2006 04:02:00 PST

The Ink Jager Chug Follow Up!

I finally got the time to write the follow up on the Ink Jager Chug. So allow me to preface this story with the following.After Ink finished, he seemed Ok. We were all drunk, but happy dru...
Posted by Giuseppe on Wed, 24 May 2006 08:33:00 PST

Party. Mi Casa. I don't even know what that means. My Place. Saturday the 27th.

You know the drill. SATURDAY the 27th. We should have a few special guests including the infamous Ink and our now unpreggers but new Mommy Jennifer and Daddy Smokestacks.Come. Enjoy a...
Posted by Giuseppe on Wed, 24 May 2006 07:48:00 PST

Garrity (Edit- and Jess)'s Party and the reemergence of Ink.

Garritys (Edit- and Jess)'s party was Saturday and it went rather well. Beirut was played. Food was made. People got very drunk. But most importantly, Ink actually gained a little of his former All S...
Posted by Giuseppe on Tue, 09 May 2006 12:50:00 PST