I'd like to meet:

Home Add me My pictures My Blog Message me

Mom Amber
Hanna Liz
Age: Fifteen
Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Zodiac: Virgo
Orientation: Bisexual
Here For: Something to do on a sleepless night

I live in Tucson. I'm not sure what to say about myself here because who I am is beyond a myspace. Anyway, I'm taken by an amazing guy named Vincent Quintana; who is only HALF beaner, so shove it up your asses, foo's...lmao. :] I'm not very athletic. I enjoy hands-on things like painting, drawing, sculpting and writing. I'm not really a party person. Alcohol and I don't mix well...If you know me, you understand what I mean. Haha. And I'm not into drugs. I'm a pacifist, optimist, vegan, pro-education kind of person, but I won't bitch about your beliefs, habits, or lifestyle. I get along with everyone if you give me the chance. I can't really fall into one stereotype because of the diversity I've been around my whole life. We are a product of those we look up to. Clones of each other, really, but not. I'm originally from Norristown, PA. I've moved pretty much my whole life, just never cross-country. I live in Tucson, AZ now, and I love it. I'm very straight forward and honest and blatant. I won't beat around the bush or reword things to sound nice. I'm going to tell you the truth, especially if you ask. I won't spare your feelings and I'm not sorry for that. Some people really need it. I have an arrogant, perverted, mean sense of humor. I can act racist, but it's all lighthearted humor. I'm under 18, but I don't mind conversation. If you're just going to hit on me, don't message me or add me.

I've written you songs; richer than the finest jewels and pools of liquid gold, sweeter than the most fruitful nectar, and still you refuse me...

"When you're a child, everything is so innocent, so ignorant, and so clear. And I told my friend how I went to the park yesterday. I played on the swing, and with every rise and fall of my body on the seat, held up by chains, a tickle consumed my stomach and rose up my throat. It was a feeling of fear, a feeling of joy, and a feeling of pain all at once. And then I saw butterflies, I saw a dragonfly hovering nearby. And for a moment, I got that sense of clarity back. The sky was so bright and clean, the clouds were my blanket. It reminded me that yes, we all have to grow up. It is an inevitable fact. However, we don't have to leave everything behind. There is always a playground."
Sing to me sweet lullabies, kiss my lips; whisper goodbye...

A Perfect Circle, Aural Vampire, As I Lay Dying, Armor For Sleep, Ashes Divide, Al Green, Anna Nalick, AFI, Atreyu, All American Rejects, Audioslave, All That Remains, Atmosphere, etc..Breaking Benjamin, Bare Naked Ladies, Black Sabbath, Black Eyed Peas, Blood Brothers, Bowling For Soup, Blaqk Audio, Brand New, etc... Coheed & Cambria, Cold, Crossfade, Cat Power, Celine Dion, Countin Crows, Circa Survive, Coldplay, etc... Disturbed, Dragonforce, Dido, Drowning Pool, Deftones, Dr. Acula, Daughtry, etc...Ah, fuck alphabetizing. Pink Floyd, The Doors, Blind Melon, Smashing Pumpkins, Jacks Mannequin, Sick Puppies, Skinny puppy, Nine Inch Nails, TOOL, OK go, The Mars Volta, The Used, Taking Back Sunday, Motion City Soundtrack, Spill Canvas, Paramore, Against Me, Rise Against, Marilyn Manson, Rilo Kiley, Shania Twain, Rascal Flatts, Kenny Chesney, Psyclon Nine, Combichrist, VNV Nation, Yoko Kanno, Sarah McLachlan, Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind, Three Doors Down, Nickelback, Aerosmith, Sex Pistols, Vampire Weekend, Kimya Dawson, Beck, Sublime, John Mellencamp, John Mayer, Lyonel Richie, Natalie Imbruglia, Savage Garden, Soundgarden, Slipknot, Mushroomhead, Bonjovi, Panic! At the Disco, Armor For Sleep, My Chemical Romance, The Who, Leann Rimes, Sara Bareilles, Rolling Stones, Gavin Degraw, Jack Johnson, Focus, Static X, Jimmy eat World, Jet, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Heart, Garbage, Hole, Nirvana, Katy Perry, Iron Maiden, Ozzy, Shadows fall, Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, Bella Morte, David Bowie, Trapt, Muse, Electric Six, System of a Down, Serg Tenkian, Enya, Paula Cole, Adema, Thousand Foot Krutch, The Beatles, The Kinks, The Sweet, M.I.A, Elton John, Journey, Asia, Extreme, Boston, Yui, Ikimono Gakari, The Foundations, Pat Benetar, Joan Jet, Deep Purple, The Police, KISS, The Classic Crime, Spitalfield, Fergie, Hanzel Und Gretyl, Dope Stars Inc, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Zeromancer, Rasputina, Live, Secondhand Serenade, Spitalfield, Chiodos (Did I mention them?), Asia, Seal, Jason Mraz, James Blunt, Ryan Cabrera, Teddy Geiger, Livehouse, Eiffel 65, Ahhh more later.
If the sun burned up and the moon melted, I'd use your love to light my way...

Gina- You are my best friend and cousin. Since we were young, you've taught me and led me to be the person I am today. We grew up together, went through our phases together, shared boy-band crushes, music taste, secrets, and memories. And even though we haven't seen very much of eachother in the last 3 or even 4 years, we remain so close. I trust you with my life, and I love you.
Amber- I've only known you a year, and you've become my best, dearest, most trusted friend in the entire history of friends. Patrick was around so that I would give Tucson a chance, a chance to enjoy, so that I could meet and enjoy you, too. He had done his part, and led me to you, really. I love you more than anyone in this entire earth! I couldn't live without you or our late nights just talking, or doing the ridiculous shit we do, or writing personal things and sharing them, or drawing together. I couldn't make it through my years in Tucson without you. I'll never let you down, if you never let me down.
Paul- You're my best male friend ever, and you hate this, but I love you. I won't say I couldn't live without you, because you think me foolish, but it would be very hard. Thanks for being here.
Mom- You're a bitch, but you're my mom. And I love you. More than that, you're my best friend. And I can tell you anything.I can even grab your boobs in public without it being awkward. I love you for that.
Dad- we were never very close until just this year, but I always looked up to your humor and how laid back and relaxed you are. I love taking random car rides with you to do pointless errands and listen to oldies, or just hang out and work on cars with you, learning all about the, and forgetting 5 minutes later. I love you.
Mommom- You've been dead for over 2 years now, but your scent and image are as vivid as ever. I miss the way you would treat my brothers and I, and all of your grand kids just like your own kids, you always looked after us. And you were always giving so much more than you got, always taking care of your family before yourself and never complained one bit. You kept it all locked inside, where it killed you from there out. I'm sorry I was too young to understand then, and I should have treated you how you deserved. But I know, even if I'd have asked you to tell me how you felt about things, you would have waved it away, not allowing yourself to put that burden on me. I love and miss you.
Poppop- I was very young when you died, but I remember watching game shows late at night with you, lying on the love seat while you tickled my arm. You were the heart and soul of every family party and get together, with your rather stupid fishing hat, and the dances you would do.

The Pattern of Life, by myself

October 10, 2008
if only there were enough words in the world to measure up to the feeling of infinite time away from him.
Wow...long time no talk, right? This may be a long ass entry. I started school in August. It has been a breeze, really. I have Creative Writing with Ms. Wakamatsu, who I love, for first. She is a great teacher, and as much as she'd like to deny it, funny just as she is. She's fucking crazy, regardless of her cockiness. 2nd is P.E. (ew), 3rd is english with Wakamatsu again, then I have Algebra for 4th, and Mrs. Shouse is awesome but it's SO BORING. Ms. Daugherty, my bio teacher, can be alright sometimes, but for the most part, that class is boring. Having Carlos and my new pal, Estevan, in that class make it so tolerable. 6th period is Info Tech with Mr. Jones, and he's a creep, and it's so boring, and honestly, I really only like it when we have a sub. Anyway, I had been on the swim team and I loved it but I quit a little over a week ago because of shit at home that really called for it. Amber got a boyfriend super quick so I was jealous and miserable. I liked a few guys; Aaron, Ulisseus, James, but the feeling was never mutual. However, there was always one guy who really stuck out the most. In the front of the school, he always stood alone, headphones to flood his ears with music to shut out reality, and a crystal ball that he'd use to do neat tricks with. I'd stare at him for long moments on end...It was my own personal, secretive obsession for a while. He was so mysterious and shut off to me. The first time I mentioned him, after Robert had gone to talk to him, I sort of made fun of his state of solitude. Anyway, I wanted to talk to him, but I never could. I'm not exactly sure how it all fell in to place, but about 2 months later, maybe a little less, I found out he had some problems with drugs and etc..., but I just didn't care. Maybe because I needed to know him, but I said it was because I wasn't planning on getting serious with him. Days passed by, and I took my crush for nothing. We would exchange glances, though most of the time he looked like he wanted to kill me. Amber and Robert told me he had asked about me, so I wanted to get more involved, and I found out he and Max were relatively close. After that, I started to hang out with Max after school some more. I found out his name was Vincent, but I called him Vince inside my own fantasies. The first time I went to hang out with Max and Vince, I didn't talk to him. We stared, and that was all. When he left, I wanted Max to ask him about me, but the next day, he didn't come to school. And when he did come to school, it was too late. He had asked out a girl named Evelyn on my swim team. I didn't make much of it, actually. I blew it off as a typical scenario. I kind of expected something like that to happen, anyway. I couldn't see myself with him realisticly as much as I wanted to inside my head. I thought he was so beautiful in his own, broken way. A day after he and Evelyn had been dating, he stopped me on my way home at the end of the day and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I replied with a shake of the head, and said no. He then asked me if I wanted one; I laughed inside my head, thinking "how gay", but at the same time, I was ecstatic, but looked down and shook my head "yes". The following conversation was somewhere lost in my ecstacy, this unbreakable, overwhelming trance. I kept my head on straight enough to say "I'd like to get to know you more." From there, things just unraveled in perfect place. We hung out the next day for a bit, and his touch made me shy. I learned things about him I never would have guessed; I learned that he was just like me, looking for exactly what I was looking for. The next day, we spent even more time together. He walked me to just about all my classes, except for after lunch when it was almost impossible, and I dreaded that time of day as if I were reliving death over and over. We kissed that day, and it was the most tender, perfect kiss I could have ever asked for. Without knowledge of my hatred for tongue, he didn't gag me with that slimy muscle, and he didn't devour my face. It was a moment of perfect calm, where nothing around us existed. Just the distinct beating of our hearts, both calm, regardless of my earlier skeptical. The next day, some drama went down with Cynthia, Evelyn's friend, when I tried to talk to her, and it stressed me out the entire day, but at the end of it all, I'd found out Evelyn wasn't mad at me anymore, and it all worked out perfectly. We spent the entire afternoon together, talking about our childhoods, beliefs, futures, interests, and what we want from eachother, and how we're so like amazes me; and how I'm so comfortable with him just takes me by surprise all the more. He said beautiful things to me I couldn't help but smile at because I didn't understand how he could say these things to me. He tricked me into looking at trees so he could see my face in the sunlight, and then he said I was beautiful. It hadn't been the first time, but it was a silly, adorable, insignificant moment I cherish. Sometimes his hand gets sweaty, even though it's usually always cold, and I love it. I love how he squeezes my hand tight, as if to reassure me, maybe subconsciously, because when I'm with him, I don't worry about a thing except the end of the day when we have to part. Today, his last day here for quite a while, he walked to my house. I was in shock that he'd go to that limit for me, but I was upset, because I really do care about him and I don't trust this town with him. I don't know how I'd react if he were hurt or worse, but I couldn't blow it off as an every day event. We spent the entire day lying in bed talking and watching videos, holding eachother and kissing. He's definitely a huge Runescape nerd and laughs at stupid things that aren't funny and bonded with my brother Matt, but I absolutely love it about him. And I love every single one of his flaws; all of his scars, his jittery shaking, his twitching, when he stumbles over his words....everything. I loved it when he told me he's falling for me, and I love it when he talks as if we'll be together much farther down the road. I was afraid to fall for him, but I've decided it's pointless because it's inevitable regardless of the time frame of our existing relationship. Anyway, this upcoming week, including the weekend, is going to be the most miserable week of the year. Vincent is going away on a cruise, and I'm a nervous wreck. I want him to be safe, because I swear if anything were to happen to him now, it would absolutely ruin me for the longest time, I could never forget and I would always live in fear. I can't lose him now, I've had him for only such a short time, and I'm not ready to give that time up for a very long, long while, or until he tires of me, because that's how it always happens. I can't say we won't have problems because I'm sure we will, but I just hope we can work through them. Anyway, wish me luck on this week...I hope with all my heart and soul it goes by like nothing....I'm going to pass the time writing, I'm sure, if only there were enough words in the world to measure up to the feeling of infinite time away from him.LMFAO I SOUND SO EMO AND GAY! Hanna Quintana. lmfao. :) My first name rhymes with his last.

Comment

I love you