*Someone who when beat with fists, comes back with a bat. When beat with knives, comes back with a gun. And when beat with guns...keeps coming back and back until one of them is dead.
*Someone who appreciates fashion as art and beauty as iconography.
*Mona May.
Don't add me if:
*Your name isn't Emily Haines. Nope, not even if you're Emily Hines or Emilio Hanes. Tough shit.
*You're not obsessed with the song "Noisy at the Circus."
*You don't even know the song "Noisy at the Circus." You're obviously not indie enough to be in my presence. Get out.
*You believe in any other God besides John Cusack.
*You think any males besides Greg.K and Geo can get away with a feminine side.
*You're not on a constant search for Steph Pennings. But if it's enlightenment you want then I guess you're okay.
*You can't name the entire staff of Dazed and Confused off the top of your head. What kind of a British hipster are you? Oh, you're not British? Well then I wouldn't like you anyway.
*You eat broccoflower. You'll never make it in Gattaca while embracing such genetic mutations.
*You don't take cats to the beach.
*You don't organise your album collection by who looks the most like Ja Rule.
*You're anything but consumed with the pompadour.
*You measure by inches.
*You can't pinpoint the exact moment in time when Charles Grodin lost it.
*You can't clearly distinguish the oh-so obvious differences between Marc, Marc by Marc, and Vuitton and Ellis headed by Marc.
*You take anything I say seriously.