One Legged Midgetâ„¢ profile picture

One Legged Midgetâ„¢

Sorry about YOUR bad luck !!

About Me

.. MySpace Profile EditorTHE details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically ... ummmm....taught me how to surf. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA !!!! If you don't already know, that was a line from a movie, then we might not be that good of friends..... Think about it before you try to add me. Thanks.

My Interests

Surf and Snow and :

I'd like to meet:

Someone who can give me the 3 B's .*********************************************************** ****I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair. -WEDDING CRASHERS- ahhhhahahhaaaaaaaaaaa

Movies:

SURF FLICKS or Anything by Quintin Tarantino, OR Anything with Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Jim Carey, or Will Ferrel in it. The Princess Bride, True Romance, Spongebob Squarepants, and of course, NORTH SHORE.... Scrub it KOOK !!!

Television:

7th Heaven

Books:

Holly Bibbel

Heroes:

My Son - Teaching me about what is really important in life......