Nov. 8th - Bright eyes♥
Jason
08.04.89 - 10.16.06
Aug 22, 2007 11:15 PM
So I think I'm pretty overdue with writing you. Things have been horrible lately. My bipolar ways, have become uncontrollable. It sucks because it's tearing me apart, and ruining my life, and ruining it for the people in it. It really scares me that I can't control how I feel. Right now, I can feel the lump in my throat, my face getting warm. About to cry from each sentence I write. A couple of weeks ago, you could've been free. Can you believe it's almost been a fucking year since you've been gone? I hate coming on here, cause I always start off so nice and sincere, and than i get pissy, and i know you don't believe me, because you know it's out of anger. I used to cry because I missed everything you were. Now I cry because I'm starting to forget, I only knew you for several months, and you became one of my best friends, i fucking confided in you, and you confided in me correct? you should have fucking told someone. I wish you would've just read the msg that night you told me you were very upset. I told you NOT to do anything fucking stupid, and look what you go and do...you hurt the ones you love. I miss Michelle so MUCH, and I hate it, because we've both changed, and it sucks because I'm always just like, hmm i should call Michelle, and I wouldn't even know where to begin. I hung out with her a few days after your birthday. She was just as amazing in person as she was over web-cam/phone/computer.
If I could punch a wall without hurting my hand, I really would right now, I just have so much built up anger inside of me. My mom said I'd soon be put on medication.
School started up a few days ago, I've had my schedule switched a bazillion times, and it sucks so bad.
wanna know what else sucks bad?
That your gone.I love you.