I have never broken into a bears home and eaten all his porridge.
I always resist the urge to poke sharp objects into my ear.
As of yet i have never overlooked the importance of regular,
continuous breathing.
I have never locked myself in a car.
I don’t turn into a werewolf during a full moon.
So far, I have managed to not decapitate myself.
The police have never considered me to be a large black man.
I seldom pick fights with inanimate objects.
I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out a window.
When i jump in the air i remember to come back down again.
Rarely do flashing lights mesmorize me for more than 10 minutes.
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