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Bunny

About Me

Senator Bunny was born to a working class family in a nameless city deluged by continuous rain. Early on, Bunny lived with a fearful mystery, but he grew out of the fear and has fond memories of the rain splattering on the windows accompanied by the occasional flash of lightning and rumble of thunder. His mother was a homemaker, and Bunny remembers her diligently ironing the family’s clothing every night. His father worked at a local hospital where he counseled the doctors on moral decisions, and performed the occasional pregnancy test.Bunny had three younger siblings, however two died during childhood. Youngest brother JoJo is now a fighter in the UFC, where he fights under the name M. Bolan. His sister Diana died tragically when she drowned in the ocean during a family trip to the beach. Two years later, the Bunny family again suffered tragedy when daughter Artemis was severely burned while participating in an illusion involving lighter fluid and a top hat. She later died from her injuries.

Bunny never forgot his sisters, and committed himself to raising awareness about children’s safety issues. After successfully plugging every outlet and filing down every sharp corner in his hometown, Bunny moved to Washington, D.C. where he became one of the most influential lobbyists on Capitol Hill. Soon, Bunny’s skills as a strategist became highly sought after in the political community.

Bunny’s first high-profile work came on Michael Dukakis’ 1988 Presidential campaign. He orchestrated Dukakis’ famous September 1988 military photo-op, and it was the triumphant image of Dukakis riding in an M1 Abrams tank that permanently swung the election.

Following the election, Bunny temporarily retired. He purchased a large house, which he named Warren, in his home state of South Carolina. He started a real estate firm, Crigarex Brand Real Estate, and was involved in several real estate deals with his friend and political ally, Bill Clinton. Bound by shared interests, Bunny put his influence behind Clinton in the 1992 election. Following Clinton’s election, Bunny came out of retirement to serve on Clinton’s White House staff. He worked closely with Hillary Clinton on health care reform, and later helped Clinton select interns.

From there, Bunny took on his highest profile job yet, as the campaign manager for Al Gore’s 2000 Presidential bid. Under Bunny’s expert guidance, Gore emerged with a historic win in the popular vote. With his legacy as a strategist secure, Bunny once again retreated to his Warren to plan his next move: running for the Senate.

Believing that the Democratic Party had become too conservative, and the Republican Party had become too liberal, Bunny ran as an Independent. The campaign was hard fought, as Bunny was the victim of extreme negative campaigning. His opponents claimed that prior to the late 1980s Bunny had been involved in a number of international scandals, and had even briefly acted as the Pope. However, none of the claims could be substantiated, and Bunny’s grassroots campaign took off thanks to his constant public appearances.

Once on Capitol Hill, Bunny became infamous for his radical centrist policies. He continues to spend most of time in his home state, where he is still heavily involved with Crigarex Brand Real Estate. Through his real estate dealings, Bunny met Thomas Ravenel, who he encouraged to successfully run for the office of State Treasurer. The two quickly became known for their raucous parties. On most weekends Bunny can be found around the state of South Carolina polling the electorate and supporting local bands.

My Interests

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Bunny loves everybody, after all, he is a fuzzy bunny rabbit. Add Bunny as a friend, it is worth the CAPTCHA.

My Blog

Sanford scandal pictures

As most of you are aware, yesterday the governor of our fine state of South Carolina revealed that he has carried on an affair with a woman in Argentina for the past year.  The State has had emails de...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:11:00 GMT

Visit with Bunny this Saturday!

Come out and see (visit) Bunny this Saturday (tomorrow) and NBT (New Brookland Tavern).  Doors (entrances) at nine (9).  There is a cover (cost), but if you want Bunny will provide a distraction (stri...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Apr 2009 08:46:00 GMT

The Ballad of Binky and Beatrix

My loyal (once and future) constituents,It has been nearly five months since I last addressed you.  Those months have been very difficult indeed.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  ...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:56:00 GMT

Election Day nears...

So it has come to this.  What a beautiful moment, though the truth comes out at last.  A single day before the election, Bunny sits here alone, as my head comes apart, drunk and in a manner ...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:32:00 GMT

Convention Madness!!(!)

As you have undoubtedly been glued to your television sets these past two weeks watching the Democratic and Republican conventions, you probably noticed you're your Beloved Senator Bunny was not in at...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:46:00 GMT

Un-news about Senator Bunny

Giving in to growing concerns that an alcoholic like Bunny would not be a good  President, Senator Bunny has temporarily stopped campaigning to enter rehab.  His friends do occasionally use ...
Posted by on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 06:52:00 GMT

The field narrows, or: Bunny hops over a few more carcasses

And so, my loyal supporters, two more candidates have dropped out.   But before I talk about what this means for Your Beloved Senator, I first want to thank all the wonderful people who cam...
Posted by on Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:53:00 GMT

Turning illusions for money or: Another Campaign Rally!

Here we are, just days away from the South Carolina Democratic primary.  Even though Your Beloved Senator is an Independent, my Campaign Pimp, who is my closest consultant, thought it was a ...
Posted by on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:34:00 GMT

Guess she didnt see the drawings, or: A little nonsense

A little nonsense for when you despise malfunctioning Myspace and everyone who uses it (or doesn't):       I got back early, How can it be? Do I wish too much? Starting and then stoppin...
Posted by on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 06:32:00 GMT

Cornfield Massacre or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Hawkeye Humiliation

By now, my loyal supporters, I am sure you have heard the news.  Your beloved Senator Bunny did not receive a single vote in the Iowa caucuses.  I even finished behind Senators Biden and Dod...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:02:00 GMT