The Dreaded Rear Admiral

The Dreaded Rear Admiral were formed from the literal ashes of Dead Crooners when that outfit literally imploded on stage at Coventry's Spittlemoor Trocadero . Unable to reassemble erstwhile throat abuser Tony D'Wonderful from the charred scraps left by his foolhardy exercise in bragadaccio - subsequently known as the 'Gallon of Tab Clear' incident, the remaining members of the quartet took some time away from the cruel glare of the limelight to pursue other projects. Gutted Dead Crooners fans were left with only the small consolation that could be gleaned from recreating Dead Crooners recordings by playing Guns and Roses records backwards at half speed down the bottom of a well.
Band eye-candy Mickey 'Candyhips' McGregor returned to his first love : musical theatre. The plaudits he initially attained for his Rum Tum Tugger were shortlived however, as he alienated many of his fans after being photographed wielding a pitchfork during a frenzied attack on London's Gay Pride parade, subsequently living in hiding inconspicuously as Mr Peter Perfect. Tub-thumper Mr Rubbish (formerly 'Sir' Martin Sticksmith) has been clean of his crippling catnip addiction for four months having been forced in to rehab by his fellow members of the Binley Women's Institute. Unable to cope with the constant media harassment following his high-profile libel case against the CostCutter 'Offers of the Week' flyer, lead string-strangler Jeevan Hellzapoppin developed a rare personality disorder known as 'Napoleon Syndrome' wherein the sufferer believes himself to be a 13th century Portuguese washer-woman with superpowers.
The Dreaded Rear Admiral was formed for tax reasons in 2007. Substitute songbird Rudy Funshine was discovered singing for his supper in Dudley's Merry Hill shopping centre. His none-too-impressive CV includes stints working as a fluffer at Coventry's Heat gentleman's club and a spell as warm-up act to the self-styled King of Las Vegas , Lemar 'Hatman' Harris. Funshine split acrimoniously from Harris following allegations of salt theft . Harris later immortalised these happenings in the song 'Margaritaville' only to lose publishing rights to the song in a game of Pop-up Pirate. The new beat combo combines the shambling ineptitude of Dead Crooners with tonal flavours of the first doo-wop era. This sound, dubbed 'nu-wop' by the scene-crazed hype-merchants at the Church of St Mary Magdalene newsletter, looks set to catapult the band back to their rightful place supporting the reformed Chicory Tip at the Harvester by the Peugeot garage on the A45 on Tuesday week. No refunds.