When I was a young boy of the age of six my life changed forever when I joined a group of elite individuals know as "The David Hasselhoff Fan Club". These individuals have spent hundreds of years living and dying by a simple yet flawless code: "Worship David Hasselhoff". As I was living less than one hundred klicks due west of the crowded beaches of Los Angeles at the time, I knew that my survival may very well depend on this way of life. Since then I have been all across the globe gathering critical intel on David Hasselhoff's photo shoots, concerts, vacation spots, etc. I even spent a month in Hawaii just trying to find the towel he used to dry off with in "Baywatch Hawaii Wedding". I am always watching for clues as to the wherabouts of David Hasselhoff. One time I even found KITT and slept in the holiest of holy drivers seats, and KITT didn't seem to mind. The only clothing I own is 2 pair of extremely short red bathing suits, but sometimes I just go without them, and a pair of sandals. I have perfected every swimming technique known to man, and even created my own: David's Turtle Stroke and the Hasselhoff Crawl. I consider beach sand a condiment. I refuse to drink out of anything but the ocean. I always carry a Rescue Buoy in each pocket and five on my belt. I have a red swim suit on hand at all times. I built a turbo booster into my shorts, based off the plans from Michael Knights' car, KITT, and I power it up daily in front of the Hospital staff and Beachcombers to symbolize the greatness of David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff, I am ready! img src="http://www.layoutstar.com/images/myspacelayoutspy/laylo
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