James. 23. I'm a rather strange character who you'll struggle to fit into any neat little boxes.
I'm rather old fashioned in that I'm very principled about a lot of things in life. The vast majority of people havent got a clue what respect is all about. Its something people go on about, but dont actually live it. Most people havent got a clue what being friends should be about either. OK, so everyone likes to think their friends are great. But mine actually are. They're the reason I'm still alive and in one piece. You only really find out who your friends are when the shit hits the fan big time, and I'm very lucky in that respect. I'm pretty much the stereotypical nice guy. I feel really guilty if I do anything wrong or bad to anyone, even if its not my fault.
I've got a History degree, which is useless. I've done pretty much every job on the face of the earth (Paperboy, Builder, Museum attendant, admin assistant, researcher, politician, and loads of other stuff I've forgot) and the one i have at the moment sucks beyond belief more than any of them.
I spend far too much time in the Gym. I'm a Pompey Fan, although I dont get to go up the Park as often as I'd like nowadays. Not that I can afford it anyway.
I've got one simple rule when it comes to the internet - I dont do or say anything I wouldnt back up in real life. I dont feel the need to act different behind a keyboard. Internet hardmen piss me off somewhat. I care not for fashions, trends, phases, scenes, anything like that. These things always turn in on themselves eventually anyway. I'm pretty much one of the least 'cool' people you could meet. which I am proud of. You can either be yourself, or you can be nothing.
I'm a Lead guitarist, owner of 2 Washburn Nick Catanese Evil Twins (and if it wasnt against stuff I'd marry the blue one, #40 of only 50 made). They are in my opinion the most under-rated guitars in the world.
I've suffered from Depression on and off for many years. not the trendy, pretend emo sort of depression either. Anyone who's actually been there will know, its not cool and its not trendy. You've just got to hang in there and beat the fuck out of it. Learn to recognise when its coming on and what you can do to control it and make sure you dont hurt yourself or anyone else. It can do wierd things to your mind, sometimes I've scared people I care about without realising and its horrible. Never be afraid to admit it either, all the time you hide it its like its something to be ashamed of. Admiting it is the hardest part. But never, ever, give up.
If anyone out theres got a problem they need help with, theres absolutely no shame in getting help. Someone told me this when I was really not well, and it changed my life. Get whatever help you need to get better and then some. Medication, counselling, whatever it takes. it might just change your life too.
I know it might seem wierd talking about it like this, but its only fair that people know whats going on if I'm a bit down or my brain seems a bit scrambled sometimes. Theres far too much of a stigma about depression, its an illness just like any other yet its grossly misunderstood and it gets swept under the carpet far too much.
If anyone else is ever going through a hard time with depression, or anything else, I'm always here to talk.
You only go round the big blue ball once, so live each day to the full, as if its your last. You never know when its gonna end.
(PS - if you've read this far and not got bored or thought 'how inane' or pulled your hair out, you're doing well!)
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