Who I'd like to meet:
appeals to:
music, movies, other cultures, books, anomalies, john daker, david firth, Mr. Rogers, the wiggles, reymon14, the smell of foam, karl pilkington, theater, acting, travel, trying different foods, animals, soccer, sitting outside, ...
quotes : : : :
"there should be such a thing as lowercase numbers, somebody really should look into that" - me
"don't take omega-3 pills and then burp cause it tastes like rotten fish" - me
"je m appelle marie soleil woo hoo" - marie soleil
"i am a fisherman. i work for jeff on his boat. he lets me sleep in the boat at night if i wash it. i saw these guys doing drugs by jeffs boat at night and i told them to let me have some and we did drugs and then after they beat me up and put me in the water" - earl
"i was eating baby carrots today, and one of them tasted like black licorice...ill look into it" - me
"i like to drink a good rum. i dont always sleep in jeffs boat so a lot of times i sleep at the ymca...i drink rum while i am at work when jeff sees it he calls me earl the girl" - earl
"one drug at a time and youll be fine...two drugs at a time, youll do some time" - earl
"after i am done drinking at the bars i try to find a ride or a place to stay but usually just pass out somewhere" - earl
"i used to be crab fisherman down in alaska fer a bit. when we'd be out there for days at a timesome times we'd go out there and it would be for a long time. me and the other guys would get really sick of looking at each other and we'd drink and get into fights. we also went to the next day we d be hungover and geting tossed all over this ship all fucked up tryin not to get swept out to sea and tryin to catch crab baskets. well we d get real lonely for a women most the time. i knew this one guy i think his name was carl. who showed me this trick. every time we left out to sea he would gather up some earth worms. then he d put them all in a jar. after we d been out to sea fer a few days he would get all lonely for a woman. so he'd get that jar of worms and he'd use it like it was a womans vagina. i thought that the worms would die after a few days but he tell me that the worms eat his sperm and they can live for a long time like that" - earl (my god! wtf earl!?)
"sweet bob saget wants to be my friend" - me
"i bit a fork with my teeth really hard by mistake today...it hurt like a fucking bitch" - me
"i like to talk to most women. as long as they arent picky i will like them. if the women is pretty it is good but if she is not i will manage" - earl
"but you know in her friends [list] there, i saw one picture that i recognized. its the 'tom' one, i dont remember from where but i already saw his picture, maybe in simons myspace or someone else i dont know" - doche
"a dump followed by a shower is a good combination because it gives you the option of not wiping" - anonymous
"my myspace is pretty fucking badass" - me
"cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass.we fell in a field it seems now a thousand summers passed.when our kite lines first crossed.we tied them into knots.and finally fly apart.we had to cut them off.since then it's been a book you read in reverse.so you understand less as the pages turn.or a movie so crass.and awkwardly cast.even i could be the star" - the shins
"damn...my scheme of adding myself to my friends list then posting many positive comments about myself has been foiled by tom" - me
"for some reason i like weird people, so if youre weird and reading this send me a weird message and ill enjoy it" - me
"that guys as gay as a happy couple from the 1930s" - me
"i think my alter egoes name is george...i told some people who dont know me that my name was george...quite often actually...its pretty funny...i think i was a george in a previous life or something" - me
"...ahh well...i probably wont remember your names anyways" - me
"you can die from eating carrots you know...a lethal amount is 400 kg...so dont eat 400 kg of carrots at once...it is lethal...meaning you will die" - me
"aie...je suis rene-claude moi!" - rene-claude
"in the olden days people used to brush their teeth with urine. now you gotta ask yourself..which is worse...brushing your teeth with urine...or not brushing them at all? i think that topic is still up for debate...and isnt coming down anytime soon" - me
"i dont like when people say the word hella i just dont but i do like boobs and beer and lots of party" - earl
"isnt it quite ironic that i feel sluggish during spring and revitalized in the fall?" - me
"life goes by way too fast to think about what could have been. just get drunk and do what you want to do (except kill someone) and get it over with...itll be worth it in the end" - me
"the word ashley mixed around = shleay...which sounds sorta like if sean connery were to say the word sleigh" - me
"thats right...i speak french bitches" - me
"there comes multiple times in a persons life when they have to ask themselves 'if i had a clone...would i want to be its friend?' i think thats a good question to ask yourself everyday" - me
"hate not a man for who he is, hate the world around him for what he has become" - me
"whenever i begin to think that life sucks, i remember those two poor male siamese twins. one was gay, one was not, and they shared the same asshole." - me
"i was over by the aquarium saturday night when these guys from the naval post graduate school came over to me. i was sleeping on a bench and this one of them came over to me and started to try and pee on me. they were laughing and i started to run away but of them grabbed me and pushed me down while the rest of them peed on me. so i peed back on them and they ran awawy. dont let jarheads pee on you." - earl
"i was in my peak physical condition when i was about 2. i even looked good for my age. people would come up to me and go 'what are you, 0?' " - me
"fuck im pissed that i already started this little bloggy blog, and it closed on me. the nerve of the blog, i tell ya, if the blog was a person i would beat it down with a box of plastic light fixtures." - me (drunk)
"ok so the first thing i want to discuss with myself are erasers. which genius invented them? i mean wouldnt the world be better without erasers? we would be careful with what we did with a pencil, for instance...if we wanted to stab a guy in the stomach with a pencil...then we'd be like "oh no wait, we dont have an eraser to erase our evidence, lets not do that" so my point is that without erasers, there would be much less stabbings with a pencil. now that i think of it...if you want to stab someone, do it with a pencil so that you can erase it." - me (drunk)
"earl gets kind of lonely out on that boat and im kind of needing a little loving so if you think you can handle the task of polishing my nob...send me a message and tell me how you would do it...or even send pictures of your self naked and i will toss you a little top 8 lovin" - earl (you are a dirty old fisherman earl)
"well hello there pals, its me earl and my friend miles is real bummed out these days...and well i think he needs some cheering up...so send him a little message letting him know why he should not try to make out with a shotgun...then send me the message you sent him and the best one gets a dinner for two at the red lobster...earls ready for some lobster" - earl
"i tie a huge weight to it, and then i go look at naughty magazines to try and lift it up. right now, im erecting about 35 pounds." - me
"i think i would welcome insanity, just to be even more different really." - me
"your uncomfortableness is really making me comfortable" - me
"keep your calendar open baby, and cross out april and replace it with billy bob....heeee haaaaw!!" - billy bob
"i just sleep in yor bed i guess, i dont mind. but i do sleep nekid cause my butt gets sweaty and puts brown on my underwear. i still pee in bed too cause i dont know why. but i think thats all i do, but i dont quite right remember, anyways......heeee haaaw! oh ya, i do that sometimes too" - billy bob
"how wreched thou does prick with the least slight and tempted allure of osculation
be there no motif for thous besieging premise, thus timely entrenched in ones cognizance?
if sentiment was no instrument, then thou has thus realized the abhorrent onus!" - me
" 'ughhh. what's your problem you freaky pervert' (typical sheltered girl)
'it was a satirical message!' (me) " - me (didnt really happen...but it would have been funny)
"god...cant we get a real brother?!" - my sisters
"time has gotten by on alibis and wine" - clap your hands say yeah
"i like waking up early. it sort of makes me feel...accomplished. i could go through the whole day and do nothing else and still feel good about myself because i woke up early" - me
"i think neverland would be badass. it got me thinking though...that place would suck if the pirates were pedofiles. they would have to come knock on every tree in the neighborhood." - me
"### is a ho kerstin...not in a good way...not like slippers are a ho to the foot, sort of like how cds are a ho to the common persons persona. its very tragic" - me [drunk]
"lock up your daughters tonight general *whistles* there'll be trouble in the maidens quarters" - salad fingers
"what sucks? rolling stone magazine. i think if dark side of the moon fell into their laps first, they would somehow find a way to end up giving it a 1 star rating. only until after the hype would they change that rating. sure theyre editorials are entertaining, but thats all it is, silly entertainment minus any real credibility. naming pinkerton second worst album of 96, then after the hype changing the rating to five stars, and putting a one star rating on a liars album, giving britney four...i guess what im trying to say is i want to chop of rolling stones head" - me
"my profile views have gone up since ive become a woman...teehee" - me
"you do realize that i could so fucking kick your ass right now dont you? im fucking superman bitch" - dean cain
"Lol it was the funniest shit, I get home at like 1:30 saturday night, Phil and his gf are already in bed, and you know his room is right next to mine. So it's 2:00 I'm almost asleep and then I hear the bed start squeaking...I'm like aaaahhh bombe and his illegal activities next door!" - mart
"She told me everything. She told me things no one else knows. I think it was an instant spark, and I think for her it was the same. She was wonderful. A very sensitive and emotional woman. A very good kisser." - Anna Nicole Smith's bodyguard
"The grammy's are such bull&%#@!" - me
"Ummm.... noooo, Steve's mom is not a monster truck driver." - BB
"The joke doesn't provide enough information for it to be funny. You're supposed to assume the masochist is suffering just because the sadist won't hurt him? So they're constantly suffering when not in pain? Fuck off with that shit." - Haiyaa
"I don't seek normalcy, it seeks me. Like an engrossing shadow of self-assurace. Peter Pan was dead wrong." - me
"i like to kick people in the head" - Persis
"I look like a tired monster." - me
"you have a funny little bump on your nose, and you smell like maple syrup" - Savannah
"quit sending me macy's cards!" - Savannah
"I feel so very disrespected by you right now." - Kathy
"look at me daddy!" - Leslie Mándoki
"I would prefer to remember you as the socially akward, rainbow sweater wearing kid in my english class who always had wonderful things to say. not whoever you are now, not that I ever knew you anyways." - ...
"dont know how much of it i have left, i would go look in the fridge, but i dont want to go out there because my sister and her boyfriend are out there, and they came back from a camping trip not so long ago, so i was alone here, so i decided to shave and give myself a handlebar mustache, just to see how it looked since nobody was here, so now i'm stuck in my room with a handlebar mustache" - me
"My name is John Cena and I enjoy hurting people." - me (pretending to be John Cena)
"Oh darling use a 'fish skin' I don't want Junior so soon." - old time porno
"being a penis biter isn't really something to be proud of..." - Lisa
"he looks pale and fragile" - Taylor's mom (speaking of me)
"he looks fragile" - Audrianne (speaking of me)
"Don't do it! OH MY GOD!!!!!" - Reymon14
Taylor: You're a really weird drunk
Me: What does that mean?
Taylor: Well some people when they get drunk they get sleepy, some people get sort of crazy, but you just get really weird
"people are always going on about that place where they eat dogs, saying 'oh that's terrible that' but i don't think it's that bad, as long as they're eating their own dogs. if we're eating octopuses, why are dogs getting away with it?" - Karl Pilkington
music:
older: the beatles, bob dylan, throbbing gristle, genesis, led zeppelin, nick drake, pixies, jethro tull, mercury rev, pink floyd, the pogues, johnny cash, queen, elton john, michael jackson, 10cc, the beach boys, the kinks, os mutantes, pavement, joy division, leonard cohen, the incredible string band, elo, yes, lindisfarne, talking heads, supertramp, king crimson, roxy music, the velvet underground, david bowie, etc.
currents: a.c. newman, aesop rock, air, akron/family, and you will know us by the trail of dead, animal collective, antony & the johnsons, arcade fire, architecture in helsinki, ariel pink, art brut, battles, beach house, beck, beirut, belle & sebastian, black dice, the black heart procession, boards of canada, brazil, broken social scene, califone, camera obscura, cass mccombs, caribou, clinic, circulatory system, comets on fire, crime in choir, danielson, the dears, the decemberists, deerhoof, deerhunter, destroyer, devendra banhart, dirty projectors, dr. dog, the fiery furnaces, final fantasy, the flaming lips, french kicks, frog eyes, godspeed you black emperor, grizzly bear, handsome furs, interpol, islands, joanna newsom, jens lekman, keith fullerton whitman, lcd soundsystem, le loup, liars, m. ward, menomena, mgmt, modest mouse, the mountain goats, múm, of montreal, the national, the olivia tremor control, neutral milk hotel, panda bear, radiohead, ramona córdova, seabear, the shins, the silver jews, slint, spoon, stars, stephen malkmus, subtle, sufjan stevens, sunset rubdown, swan lake, the unicorns, vampire weekend, vetiver, the walkmen, wilco, wolf parade, xiu xiu, yeasayer, yo la tengo, etc.
fears:
tap dancing transvestites with polio.creepy midgets.horny grannies.heights.harlequin babies.myself.cockroaches.the deep, dark sea and all of its creepy inhabitants.whales (the huge ones).other sea creatures.dancing viking
movies:
taxi driver, the squid and the whale, american beauty, punch-drunk love, a clockwork orange, magnolia, leolo, lost in translation, noi, leaving las vegas, ma vie en rose, the return, l'age dor, the triplets of belleville, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, annie hall, the science of sleep, being john malkovich, underground, this is england, werckmeister harmonies, Ingmar Bergman films, there will be blood, etc.
television:
arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, da ali g show, extras, fawlty towers, kenny vs spenny, monty pythons flying circus, moral orel, mr. bean, the office [uk version], survivorman, the twilight zone, league of gentlemen, discovery channel, science channel, tlc, always topics of interest on there (although i don't watch any tv at all these days)
literature:
Dangling Man, A Clockwork Orange, The Metamorphosis, A Scanner Darkly, T.S. Eliot, J.D. Salinger, E.A. Poe, Kafka, Vonnegut, Gilman, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Anthony Burgess, George Eliot, ...
Who else I'd like to meet:
Edward D. Wood Jr, Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand, Poe, John Daker, Mr. Rogers, etc.
land of origin:
Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville, Quebec:
FAQ's & comments:
Your new picture is creepy
Thank you
Is Sebastian your real name?
Yes
Have you ever seen the little mermaid...
Yes
Why don't you put up more pictures?
Because I don't want to
How do I know you're not a serial rapist?
Good question
What's your favorite band?
Impossible for me to choose
Did that whole incident with the old lady really occur?
Unfortunately...yes
It's been almost two weeks since you last logged in, what's been going on?
Cease this stalking behavior
Did Jeremy McTavish really interview you?
Yes, I don't lie
What is your opinion on Mexi-Staches?
By the year 2034, even ladies will be styling one
This Is Just to Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.