it's an ndn thing, u wouldn't understand

sitting quietly, close to where the earth bleeds, the scilent voices of the night seem to speak all at once....blowing smoke into my mind......i look into the water to see my reflection, the image shown is not mine, i see no fire behind his eyes, they are just dark and empty....sit back down looking apon my hands and my skin, then i let them drop to the scared surface of the earth, a place so modified by man, so cut and brused, trying desprately to heal and forget whats happening to her....my voice tries to sing out a prayer but only the smoke that fills my mind comes out. the material world, the reality that i live in, has got me in chains....the more i try to struggle free the tighter they become....such a heavy weight they are.....i try to rip and tear them a way but no progress is made. i try tho i try so hard, i make promises, to my self, to the spirits....only to break most of them and struggle to keep the few i have.... i wonder if they still trust me, if i still trust me... its so hard to tell when a language that is my own is forigen to my ears..my path is so clear, i know what must be done, but these damn pot holes, old ropes and decaying trash trip me....i can no longer keep my balance.....but still i try.....i try so hard....