Me: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Me: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Me: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Me: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Me: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached me to handle the situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Me: Sure. Here it is. It's valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Me: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Me: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it.(Sure enough, no gun)
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Me: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Me: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
Anyone perfect must be lying
Anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely
Anyone loved can be lost
"In all honesty, and in the light of this moment, I feel as though I understand nothing. But in the midst of the confusion & anxiety, somehow, Its alright. I am where I am, who I am, and just plain am Because that is how it is, and how it is supposed to be.... And that is all. I always seek to understand, Who I am supposed to be, What I am supposed to do, And why things are the way things are. But life, The absolute core of life, The life that is understood fully, Is within me. Not to be questioned, Nor analyzed nor altered, But to be lived. And that is all. To truly, wholly understand life, One must live."
"Not afraid of nothin' cuz heart and soul........I'm built for life"
"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity. "
I lOVE these people.
I lOVE this life.
I lOVE these moments.
VINI. VIDI. VICHI.
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