RUNNIN FREE

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IM 18 I LOVE TROY LEE ALDERMAN JR. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE SEPTEMBER 14 2002 WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH OUR UPS AND DOWN NO ONE REALLY STOOD BY MY SIDE THROUGH ALL OF IT BUT TROY I ICEOLATE MY SELF FROM MORE OR LESS THE WORLD AND TO THOSE WHO ARE ABOUT TO OR HAVE , HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THE SIDE EFFECTS TO THAT HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO IF HE OR SHE LEAVES YOU OR FUCKS YOU OVER WELL HERES A PEACE OF ADDVICE TO YOU ALL KEEP YOU ENEMYS CLOSER THAN YOUR FRIENDS PROMISE ITS EASIER THAN IT SEEMS!!!!!!BITCHOLOGY! When I Stand Up For My Beliefs They Call Me A Bitch. When I Speak My MInd, Think My OWN Thoughts Or Do Things My Why ,They Call Me A Bitch. Being A Bitch Means I Wont Compromise Whats In My Heart. I Live My Life My Way It Means I Wont Allow Any One To Step On Me . When I Refuse To Tolerate Injustice & Speak Against It , I Am Defined As A Bitch. The Same Thing Happens When I Take ,Time For My Self Instead Of Being Everyone Else's Idea Of What They Think I ''SHOULD '' Be . I Am Out Spoken Opinionated & Determined . I Want What I Want & There Is Nothin Wrong With That . So Try To Stomp On Me Try To Douse My Inner Flame ,Try To Squash Every Ounce Of BEAUTY I Hold With In Me.''YOU WONT SUCCEED''& If That Makes Me A BITCH So Be It .I Embrace The Title & Am Proud To Bear It....................so close I am so close Just push me off the cliff dont hold on just let go dont try to save this a miserable life just let it go I am so close Please just push me off walk away dont look watch me i just wanna fall into the endless cliffs of misery I am so close I have the pills in my hand the bottle of water i am waiting I am so close I have the knife i feel the blade cut in to my skin and blood seep through my pale al most dead looking skin I am so close I have the rope i am on the branch i am waiting I am so close I am so close and even more ready !!!!!!!!friends? i am wodering what a friend is only because i question every thing and every one so i have no friends only because i push them away with fear and abbsetion i have nothing in this world just these words and my thoughts that i make in to words i am only a image i mean a body that has released its soul in to the world to torcher every one but me cause i have no soul i am heartless and cold as the ice in the freezer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEARS ROLL DOWN THE FACE OF DECRASE AND MISERY KNOWING THERE IS NO ONE TO TOUCH THOUGH YOU ARE BEING HELD THERE AINT NO ONE TO SAY ITS OK THAT YOU CAN HEAR THE WORDS ARE FADED BY THE SORROW OF YOUR DEMISE KEEPING IT ALL IN THOUGH THE TEARS POOR OUT OVER THESE SOON TO BE GLAZED EYES I NEED A BOTTLE OF VODKA AND OJ A BLUNT A SUM ONE WHO CARES UNCONDITIONALYY THERE IS NO DIXIE NO FARRAH THAT CAN BE FOUND BUT YOU WOUNDER THROUGH THE NIGHT LIKE YOU WIL FIND SOUL LIKE YOURS TO TELL YOU SUMTHIN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY BUT THERE IS NO ONE TO KNOW WHO I AM NO ONE TO UNDERSTAND MY PAIN NO ONE TO TELL ME NOT TO DRAG THE BLADE ACROSS MY ARM ITS THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTS ME SOME HELP ME RECOFER FROM THIS PITTIFUL FATE HELP IT GROW IN TO DEATH I REACH OUT BUT NO ONE IS THERE THIS LIFE IS OVER AND I JUST WONT LET GO OF IT . THIS WAS A MISTACK I CANT I WANT THE ONE IT SEEMS I CANT HAVE BUT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR HIM JUST IN CASE HE WANTS ME TO BE HIS GUESS THAT SHOULD BE WRONG BUT ALL I WANT IS HIM LIFE SO GOOD BUT SO MUCH BETTER WITH HIM IN MY PICTURE EVERY THING IN THIS LIFE AND TH NEXT AND THE NEXT IS ONE IN THE SAME YOU STILL FEEL PAIN SORROW HATRED AND LOVE SO WHATS THE POINT IN DIEING WHEN YOU JUST GO THOUGH IT ALL AGAIN...........................HOW!!!HOW CAN YOU CARESO MUCH WHEN YOU DONT UNDERSATND ME YOU DONT KNOW ME WHO I AM WHAT I'M ABOUT OR EVEN HOW I FEEL HOW I IT POSSIBLE WHEN I'M SITTING & STARING INTO THE ABISS OF HATRED SORROW & MISERY HOW CANT YOU TELL IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE HAVE TRULY LOVE ONE ANOTHER SO HOW ? PLZ HELP ME UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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