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I feel optomistic for my art and I hope that soon I can find an equally spontaneous mind with which to break the ties that bind...(INCOMPLETE)I’m a strong believer in fate and if something happens it was supposed to…that’s it, the end…I don’t ask God to take it away or change it or make it easier for me, fuck that…I like a surprise ending, why should I ruin it with a miracle? I understand why some people kill themselves and live with their parents until they die and why some women read romance novels while their husband sleeps beside them…it’s the same reason why I bury myself in the pursuit for knowledge and a smile that’s big enough to hide how ugly I look in the mirror, it’s the insufferable loneliness. Someday I will find a cure for this melancholy…Perhaps I won’t…ENDSometimes I wonder why I find things beautiful…like glittery neon-yellow nail polish and full body tattoos. I also wonder why other people find tall hair and mini-skirts attractive…and why it means so much that no one’s opinions ever be questioned…I like the questions. They are in their own way beautiful… that someone cares enough about their own thoughts that they feel the need to know why the thoughts of others are different. I understand that what makes people who they are is their psychological makeup and that it stems from their every interaction with the outside world…that every action has an equal but opposite reaction, if you will. What I don’t understand is why the action causes the reaction that it causes.I woke up this morning And saw you buried deep inside of my ego Some kids are mean You are the seed inspiring this You, the pestilence that some call human nature There’s no excuse Calamity is all you’ve left for me A Pandora’s Box, my heart released all the good in me I’m too old to cry…ENDMy life is a condition. It’s not the kind of thing you ask for but once you have it, everything goes from beautiful to tolerable. But how much tolerance does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of insanity? I wouldn’t know…I always bite. A Buddhist law is that waste is a bad energy…but what if you’re wasting your breath? Words should be restricted to the people who manipulate them best…am I one of those people? I experience so many maybes in one day that my hopes have gone into hibernation. I wish I could sleep off the hangover of disappointment, I wish I didn’t need to…I want to go someplace where words really mean something. I could be queen of the Verbandnounians; I would be commended for my arrogant overuse of “big words” and everyone would tell me to wake up because I’m having that dream again…Yes, it would be a perfect world. While I’m stuck in the real world though I’ll just have to sit through this out-of-tune requiem and put my hands over my ears…as for you…I’m sorry, I only have two hands… My ranting doesn’t make much sense, does it? I’m sorry about that too…but this is just a momentary sympathy, I don’t know you, or anything about you…something in my current mood makes me generally apologetic, but I wish I don’t know…fuck it… ENDI can’t even remember what I meant anymore…This is so true to my birthday... Your Birthdate: August 19You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: OctoberIn more recent news, I got this fucking awesome tattoo...I just want everyone that I hate to know...even though I may never tell you how I feel, I will watch you be destroyed. I will drink to honor the demise of pure ignorance.♠
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awesome flute.