"I shall now do a little ventriloquism of my own. Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life I record that I was built (as I have been informed and believe) at Romando Theatrical Properties of Henley on Friday, the fifth of September 1930.
That, at least, is the date tattooed on the inside of my chest in the specific form V/IX/30. I was made over a period of time: what was so special about the fifth of September? Was it when I was ordered, when the great artiste first conceived me, or when his minions started to mix my papier-mâché? Was it perhaps the moment I was taken from the mould, or even the date of the final stroke of his paintbrush on my flushed cheek? I don’t precisely know.
One thing is certain: there was always something special about me. Whereas many of my Romando brothers were bought off the peg (for example, from Henridge’s Magic Emporium on the Strand), I was different: I was bespoke. Ever since negotiations had commenced, I had been marked out, for I was commissioned by a star as great as my father was an artiste: the most famous ventriloquiste of the Golden Age – your own, your very own, Echo Endor. She gave me to her son, my partner, Joe "Death Wish" Fisher, and, after many false starts, we took the act to every corner of the globe, in the most testing of circumstances in war and peace. We were awarded the George Cross for bravery.
I have finally been coaxed into writing my life story; my "memoirs", if you like. I've got a lot to say."
