Pseudomorrowâ„¢ [Self Worthless]

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Pseudomorrow
Give me an audience.
Give me the world.
I have some things planned, and I can assure you, Dear Reader, that I'm not going anywhere until they happen.

The Spick N' Span:

I'm the type who enjoys randomness. I quote from movies and every other thing that involves being written at one point in time. I don't worry because it's a pointless emotion. I rarely ever say that I'm sorry unless I absolutely know that I'm in the wrong. And most of the time, you'll find me impossible to follow and understand. I'm, for the greater part, an antisocial who loses all sense of people skills when around new ones. I'm not sure why it happens. It just does. Apparently, I seem to look intimidating due to the gothic shock value of my appearance. I've been called a vampire, but I'm not complaining any. Hell, I even go to bed at dawn everynight. I shouldn't even bullshit myself anymore.

The Down N' Dirty:

One could say part of my shyness is narcism. I don't talk because I don't find most people interesting. It's hard for me to express emotion on the outside. It's hard for me to talk when my head is always in the clouds. I can appear to be in my own little world, but I take in everything around me even if it doesn't look like I'm paying attention. I can care. I can care quite a bit. Sometimes, I even love. At this point in my life, I've become very numb. And it's going to take something amazing to let me feel it again.

The Grit N' Grime:

Basically, just picture a boy being continually pummeled in the head with a metal bat while being fed thought-growing pills. Throw in a pop culture supplement for a healthy immune system, lonlieness, sarcasm, and complete disregard for anyone's feelings; and you got yourself a Myk! :)

However, there's two completely different Myks.

There's Mind Myk, which means, he stays in his head. He's not much to talk to and no matter how much you really want him to talk; or, just how much he wants to be your entertainer, he can't seem to find the right words.

This is the type of Myk you would look at and go "Wow...he exists. Is he gonna do anything? No? Well then, I'm moving on with my life."

Mind Myk usually shows up at the worst possible times and sadly, never gets a second chance.

And then there's Crazy Awesome Myk that, in himself feels like more than just two people. This is the Myk that everyone flocks around.
The Myk who leads.
The Myk who's the front man in every room he walks in to. The Myk who feels as if he's not doing his job if everyone in the room isn't laughing.
The Myk who's actually proud to be the author of these words.

So you take the good.
You take the bad.
You take them both and there you have...
The Facts of Myk.

Now onto the ingrediants.

I love catching leaves as they fall of the tree.

I hate it when my fingers get caught for a split second in the holes in the washing machine as I take the clothes out to put them in the dryer.

I love my horrible sense of humor.

I love the sound that Macaroni & Cheese makes when you stir it around.

I hate the fact that there will never be a Space Jam 2.

I hate Andy Warhol's paintings.

I love biting and scratching.

I hate Charlie Brown.

I love black silver.

I hate that I can never write my name neatly on the UPS guy's LCD notepad.

I love the feeling and smell of a lit candle near my face.

I hate refried beans.

I love being an American because it's an automatic excuse for every action I take.

I HATE PLASTIC WRAP!

I love the texture of a hard boiled egg.

I hate when I'm walking out of a store with a bag and it hits my leg and slowly turns itself faster and faster making the bag handle really tight on my fingers.

I love being smiled at by strangers.

I hate Easter. It's stupid.

I love the smell of fast food.

I hate fast food.

I love nostaliga in all of it's "Hey, do you remember ___" glory.

I HATE SAND!

I love the way liquid mercury moves.

I hate anyone who's ever called the movie "Heavyweights" "Fat Camp"

I love pinstripes.

I hate holier-than-thou drivin people who in turn know nothing.

I love unnecessary violence.

I hate being lonely.

I love labyrinths made out of hedges.

I love rearranging inventory at stores.

I hate Charo!
(If you caught that I put two loves in a row, it's because my hatred of Charo counts for two)

I love randomness.

I hate people who don't even try to understand.

I love staring into the dark and watching it transform.

I hate "The Interpreter"

I love light summer rain.

I hate love.

I love hate.

I HATE hate.

And I LOVE love.

Blog

Betty Crocker

One more ending. One more start. Another window opened up. One last call. One last fall.Yet just another door shut. We look and talk, yet it seems so slow. But before we see, it's gone before we know. Another year down the drain you reader of words, you.

What have you got to show for it?

Hopefully something.

It doesn't really matter how minuscule it is.
If at the end of the year, you can say that you finally fucked that hot chick who works down at the video shop and has that "band" that she talks about 24/7 that blows ass, but you said they rocked in order to get some; all the more power to you buddy.

As for me, I dropped out of school.

I acquired my first job.

I bought a high end video camera for ZEML4B.

And ZEML4B finally had a legitimate meeting this year in...well, forever.

Other than various kit I've gained throughout the months, that's about it.

But, they were some good achievements no matter how small.

And this is my point.

For 2007, set a lot of small goals all throughout the year.

You'll feel a lot better for it next year this time.

As for me, some of my resolutions will include:

1. Reading my book shelf, keeping the ones I like, shit kicking the ones I don't. Then, start collecting new ones.
2. Working out on a much more serious mindset.
3. Getting out there, doing more, ZEML4B, etc.
4. Be more productive in general, more blogging, more videos, learning my way around more software.
5. Starting a ZEML4B site after we have material.
6. Expand my wardrobe with more formal esque clothing.
7. Providing I have the money, getting all my supplements.
8. FInALLY getting navras and an oil burner.
9. Get a license. (to kill)
10. STAY MORE FUCKInG ORGAnIZED WITH LIFE!

And speaking of life, well, it seems as though the only other one as scared of it as much as I am is Twik.
He wants to join the army....
One of my best friends.
My OLDEST friend.
MY friend since we were 8 years old...wants to join the army.

Twik, Zaphlon, and Krizchyn have been the only stable things in my life for as long as I can remember.

Especially Twik.

Twik, you've been there my whole life.
You've always been there.
And even though we haven't been like glue like we used to be back in the yesteryears, a life without being able to just pick up the phone or...get on the computer and talk to you...it just terrifies me.

To be honest, it's hard to even type these words.

It's your life, you know. If I could tie you down to a chair a burn you with lit cigarettes until you promised that you hated the army, and would never think about the military ever again, I would.

But, I can't.

You just talking about it reminds me how fast time is actually going.

It reminds me that we're not those kids who used to run through the people on the swings and try to not get hit.
It reminds me that I've got to grow up.
It reminds me of how pathetic I feel when I think about facing the world.

But. I'd really rather not feel pathetic without you there to make fun of me for it.

I feel you and I understand each other better than anyone else we know.

And I feel we haven't talked as much as we should have.

We haven't hung out as much as we should have.

And if you were to just kit up and leave one day, not only would I lose a friend, but I'd gain regret beyond reason for how much we haven't interacted and would probably never get the chance to again.

I don't know what I could possibly ask that would seem reasonable other than to slow it down.

You know how fickle you are, Twik.

So please, REALLY think this through.Comment This Blog
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